Friday, April 23, 2010
STUPID HOLLYWOOD MOVE #4
MY NAME IS RUSSELL, I'M A CUNT, PLEASE KILL ME
I always hate Hollywood, always and without fail but sometimes they do something so stupid, so cunting, so filled with horror that I actually contemplate burning it down to the fucking ground. Their latest shit storm is an Arthur remake starring Russell Brand and Helen Mirren, a concept so abhorrent, so vile and disgusting that I hope everybody involved gets struck with Ebola which in turn effects their family thus wiping out the entire line.
The original Arthur was a perfect comedy and it was also one that belonged in the 80s, that was the time where it made the most sense. Dudley Moore owned the role of Arthur, he was that character, nothing else could even come close. He made Arthur charming and tragic, a normal if not goofy looking man looking for love in a cold world. Sir John Gielgud nailed the part of Hobson Arthur's butler and fill-in father so well it became one of those iconic movie performances.
To give something so perfect over to the likes of Russell Brand is disgusting. Brand is a worthless waste of semen, an unfunny hack who has wormed his way into Hollywood by convincing these fucking idiots that he's "edgy". Let me clue you in on something, Brand isn't edgy he's pathetic. His humor is the British version of that annoying frat guy who was convinced he was hysterical and always ran around "being funny" so his fellow date raping friends would laugh. Brand is a one trick pony whose trick is riddled with down syndrome. He can't act, he's not funny, in fact he's an insult to anybody who believes in the sanctity of human life. A walking abortion who might get me to see his film if it was a snuff film of him getting beaten and then killed.
As for Mirren, I respect her as an actress so I wonder what the fuck is she thinking. Changing the Hobson character into a woman isn't going to distance the remake from the original, in fact it'll just come off as a cheap marketing trick. Mirren is above that and I hope she comes to her senses soon. From the bottom of my heart I say FUCK THIS MOVIE.
I hate everything