Friday, April 2, 2010

Captain America Gets More Beefcake

When I say that I don't mean lame I mean actually becoming a movie that will drum up business in the gay market not seen ever in the world of comic book movies. First they got buff heartthrob Chris Evans to be Captain America even though he sucks as an actor and will look like a frat boy date rapist in a Halloween costume. Now they've gotten this kid Sebastian Stan from Gossip Girl to play Bucky Barnes:

Doesn't he just have that wholesome easy-meat-and-a-reasonably-good-buy teen prostitute look that we all imagined Bucky would have? Seriously, what the fuck, is Marvel trying to sabotage Captain America? Hiring Rocketeer director Joe Johnston to helm Captain America was their first mistake. I dug the Rocketeer but Johnston's directing style isn't what I would call exciting. Chris Evans as Captain America could be the worst casting for a superhero movie since Michael Clarke Duncan was handed the role of the Kingpin in the shit your pants awful Daredevil movie. Evans can't ever not have that cunt frat guy smirk on his face, EVER. Even when he tries to play it straight that smirk is still there. Captain America doesn't have a smirk, he's not a jokester, in fact he could be seen as too serious. Now this Sebastian kid who just fawns around looking forlorn on that insipid show is Bucky? The suckometer just rose another notch with this movie.

An what gives with everybody casting for superhero movies from Gossip Girl? First some teeny bopper chick gets hired for Green Lantern and now this guy gets Bucky. Is the cast handing out free blowjobs or do the producers have pictures of the heads of Marvel with goats in tutus? I'm waiting for them to replace the star in the middle of Cap's shield with a pink triangle.

I don't care if they do that but let's at least be honest about it.

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