Friday, April 23, 2010

The Next Shitty Vampire Movie From Those Dumb Books Has A Trailer

Oh sorry, I meant the trailer for Eclipse has hit the net and I figured I'd be remiss if I didn't check it out. Oddly enough I learned a lot about these movies from this trailer and I wanted to share the insights give to me. First the trailer:

Now the Ten Things I Learned From The Eclipse Trailer:

10. They had a bigger budget for pale white face paint for Robert Pattinson...oh and he has pink eye

09. Nothing on this planet is GAYER than Taylor Lautner trying to sound tough

08. Apparently to be eligible to be in the Vampire Army you must be either an underwear model or an emo mall crawler.

07. The leader of the new Vampire Army is apparently pissed because he looks like David Bowie's ugly kid

06. Apparently you can kill a vampire by pushing her off a snowy tree

05. Vampires are still not afraid of Taylor Lautner's abs

04. Instead of a war apparently the werewolves and vampires have a dance off

03. Based on the Vampire Vs Werewolves footage at some point Eclipse switches from film to video game animation

02. They have lots of reusable helicopter footage of the forest

01. No matter how bad it gets Kristin Stewart can't be bothered to act like she cares. Oh and Dakota Fanning is hot even in a black cowl with pink eye

Can't wait for this to come out.

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