Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Shitty Movie Gets Shitty Remake

Let's get the "You Suck" chants going strong right now. Why hesitate? I hate, hate, hate, hate the Toxic Avenger movies, I fucking hate them. They were shitty, mean spirited, gorefests that served no purpose other than to show everybody that in the eighties you could make the worst films ever and people were strung out enough to love them. My hatred for these movies is a close second to my hatred of Seth Macfarlane's Family guy show. It's the kind of thing where I seriously scratch my head when people talk about how much they love it and pray for 2012 to be true.

I report this only because I think it's funny. Apparently the Toxic Avenger stage production did well enough that a gaggle of producers have decided to make Toxic Avenger.....and I'm quoting here....."A family friendly superhero for these environmentally conscious times." Wow, could these idiot fuckers have missed the point of those shitty movies by and wider a margin? Toxic Avenger was based on three principles: Tits, Violence, Gross Out Humor. That was all they were, there was no germ of a clever idea in there yearning to be exploited.

In the original film a skinny nerd is humiliated to the point that it drains any humor out of it and becomes something closer to a snuff film. Then through a set up the teenager jumps into a vat of toxic waste and becomes this hulk like character who can still talk and so he exacts his gory revenge. There is nothing in these films that says movie conscious much less environmentally thoughtful. Even the short lived kooky cartoon died a tragic death shortly after it came out.

Personally I'm glad they're doing it. Perhaps when this bombs people will forget about these bloody open sore on the ass of filmmaking forever.

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