Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Sequel Train Is Full Steam Ahead

So the Hollywood Cunt Slime are readying their sequel train to steamroll through our lives bringing (mostly) shitty returns to movies that weren't that good to begin with but made money. See Hollywood has really found itself the g-spot of money making, in other words if the movie watching world was a chick they've figured out where to lick so the bitch throws money at them. The licking here is that Hollywood knows people want to go to the movies, they love going to movies and if there aren't good films out they will take what they can get. Using that game plan the Hollywood Ass Whores continue to churn out shit, people keep going because they have no choice and BAM the money rolls in and the Hollywood Ass Whores point their grubby, nubbed, claws and say "It made money, it must be good" and the cycle begins again. Here are some sequel updates for those who care.


In what will probably be the last shot Hollywood has to get Superman right this new Chris Nolan shepherded, David Goyer helmed Superman is looking at a Christmas 2012 release. My fear with this is that Nolan & Goyer will make Superman too dark and take away the inherent optimism of the character. That being said they couldn't fuck up the movie any worse than Superman Returns or the other sequels to the brilliant Richard Donner film and I respect both men so I'm trying to be hopeful.


Might be filmed in Imax, is probably two years away and that is all anybody can say so far. I'm hoping that since Nolan says he's figured out how to wrap up his story with the third film they won't try to recast the Joker. For me I'd love to see a Crispin Glover Riddler or a Phillip Seymour Hoffman Penguin but I'd especially like it if Nolan worked in the Black Mask, one of the most underrated villains ever. For jerk off material give me an Evan Rachel Wood Catwoman.


As if this return to Mad Max wasn't already going to be a large steaming pile of maggot shit now it comes down that while the film is now forced into this bizarre 3D feeding frenzy it won't even be shot in 3D. Instead the producers will add "3D" effects in post production much the same way they did for Clash Of The Titans even though everybody said how awful that looked. It's insane, the 3D thing hasn't reached a fever pitch yet and already the Hollywood Cunts are cutting corners.


According to Sharlto Copley this will happen in two years and could be a prequel. Hopefully this never happens ever. District 9 was the biggest batch of snake oil I've ever seen the world suck down. The film was a masochistic nonsensical badly written shit storm that could not figure out what it wanted to be and went from interesting to Michael Bay action-lame in less than an hour. The fact that people ate it up and started claiming how brilliant it was just proves people are stupid sheep.


Apparently all the folks who became big movie stars post Anchorman have agreed to pay cuts if the movie is greenlit. Personally I don't care at all about this. Anchorman was cute but doesn't need a sequel, however if there is one then good for them, it doesn't offend me or make me happy. UPDATED: Apparently the movie studio passed on the project. Perhaps because Will Ferrell has been box office poison as of late.


Yeah just in case you'd finished wiping the dried Hollywood Devil Jizz off your face, the throbbing warted cock of the Hollywood Devil is hard again and heading towards your mouth with an unnecessary sequel to a shitty movie. As Bill Hicks said: Sucking Satan's Pecker.

I stole this graphic from Screen fucking sue me.

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