Wednesday, April 7, 2010

In Darkest Day, In Blackest Night......HULK HOGAN?


It's funny because it looked like I woke up in my apartment. My bed was the same, the pictures, even my loud and insane cat looked exactly the same. But no, clearly I have woken up in some parallel universe where white is black, up is down and shit is fucked nuts. The hot FBI agent from Fringe must've snuck into my room with the crazy professor and tossed me through the window into that other reality. It's the only thing that makes this message I woke up to make any goddamn sense at all.

See, see what I mean? It's clear that where ever this message comes from, the place where it was thought to be a good idea, can't be anything even approaching what we refer to as reality. How could it? What idiot would think that Hulk Hogan and Green Lantern fans would be the same thing? Is this for the movie? Did they really think it would drum up excitement to have a has-been wrestler who is clearly reading cue cards and his no idea who any of these people are? Did you hear him stumble over "John Stewart"? Christ he probably thinks the guy from the Daily Show is a superhero. I'm going back to bed to drink heavily and smoke as much Crystal Meth as I can to forget this ever happened.

I hate everything

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