Monday, July 12, 2010

HULK SMAAAAASH!! Oh, I mean Ed Norton Pissed

Oh this Avengers thing is just getting too rich for words. Not long after the announcement came down that Ed Norton would not return to play Bruce Banner in The Avengers movie Marvel Entertainment President Kevin Fiege released this really shitty and unprofessional statement about why Ed Norton isn't in the movie.

"Our decision is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members. The Avengers demands players who thrive working as part of an ensemble, as evidenced by Robert, Chris H, Chris E, Sam, Scarlett, and all of our talented casts."

Then of course Ed Norton's people, channeling Samuel Jackson said well allow me to retort:

"This offensive statement from Kevin Feige at Marvel is a purposefully misleading, inappropriate attempt to paint our client in a negative light."

Okay let's call bullshit on both sides here. Ed Norton is a cunt, a pretentious asshole who makes everybody he works with miserable. It's the reason he hasn't done as much as could have, because he's a notorious dickweed. However, for Kevin Fiege to try and present him as a towering asshole while championing notorious movie egos like Sam Jackson and Robert Downey JR is total bullshit.

First off this is all about dollars. Iron Man 1&2 made a bazillion dollars while The Incredible made less. Chris Hemmsworth (Thor) and the douche bag playing Captain America are little fish in a big pond so of course they're not gonna stir up the shit.

Norton is a great actor who would've brought his cunt powers to battle with Downey JR and Jackson, both of whom probably shit a biscuit at the idea of working with him. I'm also confused how Fiege could comment with such arrogance about the ability of the cast to work together as an ensemble since they haven't shot a frame.

It also seems weirdly douchey that Kevin Fiege would refer to the other cast members as Chris H and Chris E. It's like he's taking roll call or something. I'm also interested to see if they come crawling back to Norton when without a doubt if Captain America and Thor shit the bed.

The final part of this pissing contest it the weird rumor that Joaquin Phoenix might be the man to step into Ed Norton's shoes. Man if the Hulk has bad dreads and raps then I will be the FIRST on line to see the Avengers.

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