Friday, May 1, 2009

SAVE YOUR MONEY: CRITICS TAKE ON WOLVERINE


I'M THE BEST AT WHAT I DO.....WHICH IS TO SIIIING, SING OUT LOUD, SIIING OUT STRONG!!

If you were foolish enough not pay attention to my original review of Wolverine (see sidebar to find it on this blog) then maybe some higher names in the world of film critics will grab your attention. Here are what they're saying about Wolverine:

"Sometimes junk food is soul food, and sometimes junk movies are yummy and satisfying (and never mind the bellyache later)." -- MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher

"Strictly speaking, it's a mess..." -- Rob Vaux, Mania.com

"Whatever actually happened, the explosions all go off on time, which in a film like this is all that really matters." Kenneth Turan, LA Times.


"Even by the standard of a fourth-in-a-series summer blockbuster, Wolverine is remarkably lame." -- Dana Stevens, SLATE

"A transparent attempt to squeeze a faltering franchise for its last drop of box-office juice." -- Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

"A couple of halfway decent action scenes do little to distract from the story’s mounting ludicrousness, or a conclusion that’s only a little more satisfying than a projector breakdown. Maybe." -- Keith Phipps - AV Club

"Falling somewhere between noble failure and modest success, 'Wolverine' is ultimately a generic Summer film actioneer that will quickly be forgotten" -- Garth Franklin, Dark Horizons

Lastly:

"I have been powerfully impressed by film versions of Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, Iron Man and the Iron Giant. I wouldn't even walk across the street to meet Wolverine." - Roger Ebert

The only positive thing about this Wolverine movie is that it's made that smug, sycophantic blob Harry Knowles look like the uber cunt we know he is. After raging about how this movie gave Emma Frost diamond skin when she never had that ower old "SUPER GEEK" had to back peddle when he found out not only did Emma Frost have diamond skin but she used it to survive when Genosha was destroyed. For all X-Men fans you'll understand how silly the makes Harry look.

He also refuses to review the movie because they won't let him see it for free and nobody from the set sent him gifts or sucked his cock. Maybe this will lead to the end of Aint It Cool (if you're willing to spend the money) News.

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