In Case You Were Out Shopping For Me

Some of you will get this right away while others will scratch their heads and try to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. Don't you see? Can't you view why this T-shirt is a wonderous thing?

It's got a Tauntaun and a Wampa and they're skiing

HELLLOOOO THEY'RE SKIING!!!

If you don't get it I don't know what to do with you except ask that you buy this shirt for me because I WANT it and I'm fucking broke. For those looking to buy check out T-SHIRT LAUNDRY.

Thanks to TOPLESS ROBOT for the update.

TWO REASONS TO HATE MY FLAT OLD MAN FEET

You'd think it'd be the spinal problems it could lead to or the foot pain but nope, the main fucker with old man flat feet is I can't wear cool fucking sneakers because they have no support. God I hate being old. If I wasn't then check out the ass smacking good times I could have with these puppies.



First are these Mickey Mouse joints which rule because they're red and clown looking and feature Mickey.



The second are the upcoming Gorilla Biscuits sneakers. Anybody who was in or loved NYHC when it still mattered will want a pair of these. I know I would except they'd hurt my old man feet.

THREADLESS Does It Again

This is anew shirt called The Nerd Alphabet and it kicks a lot of ass. I got most of them, try to see how many you get. I'd buy this shirt except it only comes in the flimsy thin material made for fat guys who don't care, muscle guys who care to much or those goddamned skinny people than can wear anything. On average humps like me it just looks weird. If you fall into any of those categories then check out THREADLESS to buy one,

TAUNTAUN SHIRT IS AMAZING AND DISTURBING

I remember the days when Star Wars didn't suck and recently the Empire Strikes Back celebrated its 35 Anniversary as the last entirely awesome Star Wars movie (if you remember Jedi had Ewoks...nuff said). With that in mind I give you this kick ass T-shirt from SPLIT REASON featuring a pretty twisted view of saving Luke's life via Tauntaun innards. Dig it:

Two New Awesome Shirts To Up The Nerdness In Your Life

This may not be the homage to the subway systems that Take The A Train by Billy Strayhorn was but it's still pretty fucking cool. Basically some very forward thinking dork created a total replica of the London Tube map and applied it to Middle Earth. I must truthful, I was never a Lord Of The Rings guy. I thought the books were okay but dragged (I know, nerd sin, I've heard it before) and I hated the movies. Ten hours plus of people walking up hill and complaining, are you fucking serious? Anyhoo that aside I would still buy this shirt save for one thing, super nipples.

The best things I inherited from my father is my writing ability, my sense of humor, my critical mind, my ability to tell a story and roguish good looks. The worst thing I inherited from him were nipples that could cut through steel. When I was incredibly fat I thought that was the reason but then I lost tons of weight and they were still there. It's like it's forever freezing right around them and it makes white, grey, red, pretty much any light color t-shirt a real impossibility for me. I can't even wear this next shirt which kills me because it's soooo rich. Dig it:



A creepy E.T./Shining shirt? Man I would love to wear this. E.T. was one of the first things that proved just how jaded I had become getting older. When that movie hit the theaters I was 9 or 10 and I loved it. I cried when E.T. died, I bought the toys and t-shirts, shit I even munched down on the cereal. Then I didn't see it again for about seven years and when I did I thought it was the stupidest movie I had ever seen. A dirty old man alien whose "neck" gets longer when little kids touch him? Fucking grim. I still love the Shining though and if not cursed with super nipples I'd already own both of these.

If you want to buy the Middle Earth Subway Shirt (plus a closer look at it) click THREADLESS and for the E.T./Shining Shirt click TEEFURY

Awesome Moon Landing Shirt

To buy it check out PUBLIC DOMAIN CLOTHING

LOST GILLIGAN'S ISLAND MASH UP SHIRT!!

I haven't watched Lost, basically because I'm waiting for it to be done and then watch all of it on the big DVD with Sara. However my working knowledge of the show gives me enough to know this shirt kicks major ass. Gilligan and the Skipper fucking with the "hatch", pretty rad. Here's a better shot of the graphic:



Jump on over to TEEFURY to buy one

BATHROOM FASHION JEDI STYLE

Ever thought to yourself "Damn, my bathrobe sucks" or "How can I involve being a superdork with my morning routines?" If so then the above item is just what you (and I) have been looking for. The 100% cotton velour robe is a big heavy warm jam that will keep even the fattest jedi happy as he brushes his teeth or uses the "force" on himself during private time.

For more on ordering one click HERE.

This would definitely go under the Good because how much better could it really get?

WU TANG KILLER BEES....ON YOUR FEET?

I don't usually get all wet in the panties for sneakers, I was just never that guy. Sure I have a top ten list somewhere of my favorite kicks but for the most part I'd rather buy comics or records than spend crazy money on sneakers. Sometimes sneakers come along that I'd love to own and this is just such a time. These are the new Wu-Tang Killer Bee sneakers which kick ass. Mainly because the Wu Tang label isn't too prominent and these fuckers are YELLOW, which kicks ass. Dig on them yourself:





They are available at the Dekline stores for 69.99

LOVECRAFT COLOGNE & OILS: SMELL LIKE YOUR FAVORITE OLD ONE

Sometimes pop culture makes me sick and then sometimes I just have to love the day and age we live in. This website (find it HERE)actually sells this stuff and I'll be hell fucked if I don't want all of them. NOTHING brings out the pussy like smelling of a world dominating ancient evil!!

SASQWATCH IS SUPER AWESOME

I'd usually save this for The Good The Bad & The Ugly but I love Bigfoot too much and this is too rich. This is the Sasqwatch and it may be the greatest time piece ever save for the pocket watch from The Girl, The Gold Watch And Everything. The watch is a giant foot and inside it is a Bigfoot image and his arms are the clocks arms. It comes in many fashionable colors and is perfect for me and me and me again.

Buy me that shit man I'm fucking broke!!

Dig the watch HERE

SUICIDE GIRLS DO COMIC CON

THESE SUICIDE GIRLS DRESSED LIKE COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS WILL BE ON THE FLOOR OF COMIC CON. YOU MUST FACE TWO TRUTHS ABOUT THESE WOMAN:

1. THEY PROBABLY DON'T READ COMICS SO DON'T TRY TALKING ABOUT THEM

2. YOU WILL NOT FOR ANY REASON GO HOME WITH THESE GIRLS AFTER COMIC CON.

IF ONLY THEY MADE TIES...JOY DIVISION CLOTHING

So apparently a designer named June Takahashi has launched the Fall collection for her clothing line and within it she has various items of clothing featuring the cover art from the Joy Division album Unknown Pleasures. Granted it could just be the same reading of the star burning out but lets just call it Joy Division togs. Here they are:







I kind of dig the sweatshirt. If you want to find out more check out more on the fashion line click HERE

AC/DC & METALLICA KICKS

One of the worst things about getting old is that you can't do the things you once could. My flat ass old man feet can't hold strong when wearing skate shoes so I'll have to miss out on these even though I'd love the AC/DC ones. Metallica wise I can't be part of anything that lines Uber Douche Lars Ulrich's pockets, plus I was never a pushead fan...yeah I know, fucking sue me. So here are the rest of the Metallica and AC/DC sneakers for you to dig on.

T-SHIRT ROUND UP: A SUMMER BLOG

Even though you couldn't tell summer's here if you live in New England like I do, that doesn't mean it ain't here. Apparently the rumor is that elsewhere the summer has arrived bringing sunshine and good times with it. In accordance with that I decided to show some of the awesome T-shirts hitting stores soon that you can buy in order to keep current with the times. This is of course if you're not a cool-striped-shirt guy with loads of khaki cargo shorts and flip flops you usually wear with boot cut jeans. You'll probably hate these.



My first is this Black Star reunion T-shirt that I am AMPED to try an get hold of. Black Star, featuring Mos Def and Talib Kwali, released one of the coolest and most interesting rap records a few years back. They're scheduled for two reunion shows this Saturday and if you're like me and can't attend we can at least try to get one of the t-shirts:



A few will gone on sale online at KARMA LOOP




These shirts are kind of cool. These are remakes of old hardcore shirts from back in the day (though the Johnny Cupcakes one escapes me). Is it as cool as having the shirts from the shows when you actually saw them? No. That being said the ripped ticket Bad Brains shirt is pretty sweet.






You can check them out at THE HUNDREDS but be warned it's a hipster site that seems intentionally annoying to navigate.



This is my favorite Obama shirt EVER!! I promised I wouldn't buy into the Obama-On-A-Shirt trend but I had to get this one.


You can pick this up at THE CHOP SHOP STORE



And finally this shirt is just kinda silly funny. It's way too obvious but I still think the shirt is funny, sue me!!


Dig these at LOITER INK

THIS COULD BE THE COOLEST SHIRT EVER

This shirt is amazing not only for the obvious reasons but for the many subtle levels that it works on. Here's the place to order it. It's in the UK so it ain't cheap.

http://www.disturbiaclothing.co.uk/products/guys-clothing/bateman

PIN A MEDAL ON YOUR FAVORITE GAMER

Want to show the gamer in your life that you think they kick much ass then try pinning one of these medals on them. The website to pick them up is http://www.supermandolini.com/acatalog/console_wars_veteran.html but beware they are 18 pounds which is like 36 bucks here.

SUPERMAN KICKS

REVELATION RECORDS KICKS

BAD BRAINS SNEAKERS

THESE ARE THE NEW BAD BRAINS VANS SHOE. I've been trying to find a place to order them with no luck. Don't they kick ass