Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts

Friday, August 20, 2010

HOLY BATSHIT--DC Does Something Else Stupid



Yeah you're not going blind, nor has anybody put acid in your toothpaste, this has been making the rounds as the cover for Brightest Day #13, which would make perfect sense. Why would it make perfect sense, well let me tell you. The first part is that DC has fucked up not only the death of Bruce Wayne but also his Return. Mostly they've done this by handing it to hack "writer" and Alan Moore wanna-be Grant Morrison.

On top of all that Brightest Day so far has been so fucking ho-hum that I use it as opposed to jerking off in order to feel relaxed before a nice hot shower. So since DC has basically not just screwed the pooch but got her pregnant, beat her and made her pay for the abortion, why not fuck it with returning Bruce Wayne as the White Lantern. The Dark Knight as the White Lantern, holy raping get down fuckabout DC are some deep bitches.

I hate everything

Friday, August 13, 2010

SUPERMAN/BATMAN APOCALYPSE TRAILER



I'm about as done as I can be with the whole DC Animated let's-rehash-shit ideal. There are so many cool ideas and titles that get cut or canceled so what? So that they can keep giving us Superman/Batman titles? I don't like this story mainly because it's Jeph Loeb and he has done far more damage than his run on The Long Halloween or Superman For All Seasons can forgive. Don't believe me? Check both his craptastic run on Wolverine and how he ruined The Hulk for proof.

In this movie Apocalypse decides to get back at Superman through the newly discovered Supergirl. From the look of the Supergirl costume when she's under the Apocalypse spell it seems his great and evil plan is Space Pimping. I have no interest in seeing this even with my great crush Summer Glau performing the voice. DC released a trailer, here it is.



Superman/Batman Apocalypse hits on September 28th.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Could This Be A Reason DC Animated Is Failing?


I figured this is better then an ad for the movie AND she plays Supergirl


On the DVD for Batman Under The Red Hood there was a ten or so minute mini-documentary on the upcoming Superman/Batman Apocalypse movie. Now I'm as big a fan of the "A" man as anybody and I'm also amped whenever Kevin Conroy works as Batman's voice but seriously, another fucking Jeph Loeb story? Seriously, I mean Christ even producer Bruce Timm looks ambivalent to this and longtime animated guru of awesome Andrea Romano is trying to sell it way too hard. Here's little documentary thing.



Other than the fact that I could watch Summer Glau do anything that whole bit of business is incredibly uninspired. First off the director looks like an extra from Beetlejuice with a Meth addiction and all she can say besides how great it is is how the artist draws the women really long? Hoo fuckin YAH does that inspire me to run out and buy this.

This could all stem from the fact that I hate Jeph Loeb because he fucked up Wolverine AND Hulk or it could be because this kind of rehash shit is what's keeping DC Animated down. They went from Batgirl Year One and Teen Titans The Judas Contract to this? Unless this comes with a Summer Glau naked pleasing herself easter egg you can pretty much count me out of this.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

SUPERMAN/BATMAN APOCALYPSE Is Coming




So with DC Animated kind of in the rough right now thanks to people not buying their movies, I guess they've decided to go with the few that did sell. On the heels, well kind of, of Batman Under The Hood (Due out July 27th) comes Superman/Batman Apocalypse (September 28th). The last Superman/Batman movie Public Enemies was pretty awesome and apparently sold really well so BAM the DC folks are at it again. Here's the skinny on the plot:

After a spaceship splashes down in Gotham City Harbor, Batman and Superman encounter a mysterious Kryptonian with powers as great as those of the Man of Steel. The Kryptonian is soon revealed to be Kara, cousin of Superman, who takes her under his wing to educate her about the ways of Earth. However, the villainous Darkseid has other plans. Seeing an opportunity to finally defeat Superman, Darkseid abducts and gains control of Kara, utilizing the powerful Kryptonian to do his bidding. It's up to Batman and Superman to save Kara, but they'll have to take the fight to Darkseid within his hostile world - where unknown, deadly threats lurk around every corner, including a brainwashed Kryptonian able to match Superman blow-for-blow.


The best part is that Kevin Conroy will be performing Batman's voice and Tim Daly will handle Superman. Summer Glau (Chronicles of Sarah Conner) is voicing Supergirl but since I don't care about her saying anything besides "Again Iann? My poor body is so sore but you are soooo good that I can't say no" that doesn't matter much to me.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

BATMAN THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE SUCKS...BUT IT HAS TOYS



Being a lifelong Batman fan fewer things fill my bile ducts with venom faster than the rancid shitfest that is The Return Of Bruce Wayne. Hack writer Grant Morrison (yeah, I went there, step up bitch) has been ass fucking Batman since Batman RIP and now has decided not to finish until Batman's ass drips Devil Semen for the rest of his life. Issue number one of this debacle was incredibly stupid but issue #2 took it down a whole new fucking door. God I hate Morrison.

Now comes the DC Direct toys which look really cool but I won't buy because they have to do with one of the worst things associated with Batman since the characters creation in 1939. These figures cover Caveman Batman, Pirate Batman, Pilgrim Batman and Cowboy Batman. They hit stores in April of 2011, which blows mainly because I'd hoped by then we could all forget about this god awful series. Anyway, here are the figures.




Tuesday, May 18, 2010

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #72 Preview



Here's an awesome preview for the upcoming Superman/Batman #72 penned by legendary comic scribe Paul Levitz. Superman's godlike presence on another world is being distorted by Lex Luthor while zealous followers of the man of steel are looking to make human sacrifices in his name on Earth. Can Batman save the first victim.

Dig the preview HERE

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Sequel Train Is Full Steam Ahead




So the Hollywood Cunt Slime are readying their sequel train to steamroll through our lives bringing (mostly) shitty returns to movies that weren't that good to begin with but made money. See Hollywood has really found itself the g-spot of money making, in other words if the movie watching world was a chick they've figured out where to lick so the bitch throws money at them. The licking here is that Hollywood knows people want to go to the movies, they love going to movies and if there aren't good films out they will take what they can get. Using that game plan the Hollywood Ass Whores continue to churn out shit, people keep going because they have no choice and BAM the money rolls in and the Hollywood Ass Whores point their grubby, nubbed, claws and say "It made money, it must be good" and the cycle begins again. Here are some sequel updates for those who care.


SUPERMAN

In what will probably be the last shot Hollywood has to get Superman right this new Chris Nolan shepherded, David Goyer helmed Superman is looking at a Christmas 2012 release. My fear with this is that Nolan & Goyer will make Superman too dark and take away the inherent optimism of the character. That being said they couldn't fuck up the movie any worse than Superman Returns or the other sequels to the brilliant Richard Donner film and I respect both men so I'm trying to be hopeful.


BATMAN 3

Might be filmed in Imax, is probably two years away and that is all anybody can say so far. I'm hoping that since Nolan says he's figured out how to wrap up his story with the third film they won't try to recast the Joker. For me I'd love to see a Crispin Glover Riddler or a Phillip Seymour Hoffman Penguin but I'd especially like it if Nolan worked in the Black Mask, one of the most underrated villains ever. For jerk off material give me an Evan Rachel Wood Catwoman.


FURY ROAD

As if this return to Mad Max wasn't already going to be a large steaming pile of maggot shit now it comes down that while the film is now forced into this bizarre 3D feeding frenzy it won't even be shot in 3D. Instead the producers will add "3D" effects in post production much the same way they did for Clash Of The Titans even though everybody said how awful that looked. It's insane, the 3D thing hasn't reached a fever pitch yet and already the Hollywood Cunts are cutting corners.


DISTRICT 9

According to Sharlto Copley this will happen in two years and could be a prequel. Hopefully this never happens ever. District 9 was the biggest batch of snake oil I've ever seen the world suck down. The film was a masochistic nonsensical badly written shit storm that could not figure out what it wanted to be and went from interesting to Michael Bay action-lame in less than an hour. The fact that people ate it up and started claiming how brilliant it was just proves people are stupid sheep.


ANCHORMAN 2

Apparently all the folks who became big movie stars post Anchorman have agreed to pay cuts if the movie is greenlit. Personally I don't care at all about this. Anchorman was cute but doesn't need a sequel, however if there is one then good for them, it doesn't offend me or make me happy. UPDATED: Apparently the movie studio passed on the project. Perhaps because Will Ferrell has been box office poison as of late.


CLASH OF THE TITANS 2

Yeah just in case you'd finished wiping the dried Hollywood Devil Jizz off your face, the throbbing warted cock of the Hollywood Devil is hard again and heading towards your mouth with an unnecessary sequel to a shitty movie. As Bill Hicks said: Sucking Satan's Pecker.



I stole this graphic from Screen Rant....so fucking sue me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Trailer For BATMAN: UNDER THE RED HOOD Animated Movie

I have to give credit where credit is due, DC has yet to really fail me when it comes to their animated movies. Sure the Death Of Superman wasn't perfect but thus far nothing has been an out and out failure. Now comes Batman: Under The Red Hood and it looks fucking killer. It's written by Judd Winick based on his Batman run and features the voices of Bruce Greenwood, Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Isaacs and Jensen Ackles. I'm not 100% on Greenwood as Batman but that may just be because I only ever hear Kevin Conroy as the voice. Anyway, here's the trailer:

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&amp;from=sp&amp;fg=shareEmbed&amp;vid=c9358acd-5576-4f1f-9034-f061a3294951" target="_new" title="Exclusive: &#39;Batman: Under the Red Hood&#39; trailer">Video: Exclusive: 'Batman: Under the Red Hood' trailer</a>

Batman: Under The Red Hood hits stores July 27th.

KEVIN CONROY Talks CHRISTIAN BALE'S BATMAN Voice



The Christian Bale Batman voice fucking blows ass.

Okay, I said it, I admit it and I am one of the biggest fans of Batman Begins & The Dark Knight out there. In fact I count them as two of the only three decent superhero movies made thus far. Bale totally kicks ass as Bruce Wayne and Batman but the voice, egads that voice, it sounds like a constipated Dirty Harry who also suffers from Emphysema. One man who knows how to do the Batman voice is Kevin Conroy, the man behind Bruce/Batman for the entire run of the Batman Animated Series, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited. He is the only one who has ever nailed the Batman voice in my opinion.

Last week at the Chicago Qe2-007-part 3-45-6-99 or whatever the fuck you call it Kevin was there pumping the next DC thing he's a part of when a fan asked him about Christian Bale's Batman Voice. Kevin slapped it down but in the usually classy Kevin Conroy way. Dig it:



I wish Bale would take some cues from Kevin for the next Batman film.

Friday, April 2, 2010

BATMAN: THE ODYSSEY Is Finally Coming Out....Nerd Boner Rages



You know what you're looking at? Do you, do you have any fucking clue what exactly you're staring at and how goddamn sonofabitch awesome it is? No, well then let me enlighten you. From the late forties to the seventies Batman sucked. The amazing genius character Bob Kane and Bill Finger created was sodomized by the comic book world and turned into this antiseptic, kid friendly, super-dad and it was the worst thing ever. Then in the seventies a man named Neal Adams, an artist so good it makes me openly weep, took up the fight and gave Batman his balls back. Adams and writer Denny O'Neil reinvented the caped crusader into the Dark Knight, returning him to his former glory. Everything Batman related stems from this era and without it Batman would still be seen as the Adam West bullshit show.

Since 2007 Neal Adams has been talking about a tour de force Batman event called Batman: The Odyssey which finds Batman battling a series of seemingly unrelated challenges, villains and allies, old and new, that push him to his limits as never before. The battles get more intense and, in turn, more deadly, The Dark Knight discovers that there might be an over-arching force behind his troubles. Finally after years of talk the Neal Adams written & drawn series will hit stores in July. Adams had this to say about the series:

"I have been collecting bits and pieces of Batman's life and time over the years since I was doing Batman regularly," Adams said. "With even this massive series, I haven't been able to shove them all in. but the juiciest and richest morsels are there. Have comic books always been this much fun?"

One thing, of the many, that I'm amped about is this takes place outside the normal continuity of the Batman Universe so it'll remain classic Neal Adams not Adams trying to write Dick Grayson as Batman. There hasn't been any conformation of the rumor that Frank Miller will help Adams write the series and after the abortion that was All Star Batman & Robin I can only hope it never happens.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

TONY DANIEL TO PICK UP BATMAN IN OCTOBER

I liked Battle For The Cowl (I know many didn't) and I dig Tony Daniel's art so normally I'd be amped that he's returning to Batman in October. This time I'm a little bummed because he's replacing former Real World star and pretty solid comic scribe Judd Winick who did such a great job on Dick Grayson's first appearance in Batman as the new Dark Knight. I guess I'll have to ride the fence and see how Winick does for the summer and then how the October run turns out to. I will say this, these two covers for the run look awesome. Especially te weird Two Face one.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

THIS COULD BE THE COOLEST SHIRT EVER



This shirt is amazing not only for the obvious reasons but for the many subtle levels that it works on. Here's the place to order it. It's in the UK so it ain't cheap.

http://www.disturbiaclothing.co.uk/products/guys-clothing/bateman

Friday, March 13, 2009

NEW ART FOR MORRISON AND QUITELY'S BATMAN & ROBIN

Now I haven't been a huge fan of Grant Morrison as of late thanks to his awful run on Batman RIP and Final Crisis. However Morrison and artist Frank Quitely did put out one of the great 12 issue runs ever with All Star Superman. The two men are reuniting to bring us Batman & Robin, a new series taking place outside the normal DC Universe. It may not be as good as All Star Superman but it couldn't suck as badly as Frank Miller's recent Batman book. Here is some of the art: