THE BREAKOUT KINGS

So I watched a couple of episodes of this new show called The Breakout Kings. The plot centers on a group of convicts that are brought into a special program to help cops find other convicts that have broken out of prison. The gist is that each convict they help catch will shave some time off of their own sentence. So week in and week out the show opens with some type of prison break and then our heroic team takes them down. The first time I watched it, I hated it. I decided I'd watch it a few more times just to make sure I hated it. Yep, the show is awful.

For the last few months I've been convinced that Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior is the most melodramatic and badly written show on TV. Turns out I was wrong. True Suspect Behavior is awful (Forest Whitaker should get an Emmy for Ham Of The Year within a subcatagory of Look At Me Look At Me) but at least it's not cliche to the point of being unbearable. The Breakout Kings feels less like a show and more like something put together via focus groups and marketing meetings. Toss in a rousing game of darts, where producers throw them at cliched character profiles to see who is who, and you start to get the idea.

First of all there's the plot. Is anybody else out there tired of these "Special Program" film and shows? It seems like nobody in law enforcement can do anything on their own so they have to bring in Special Programs. This special program makes less sense than all of them. Show in and show out the convicts don't do much but add comedy relief and look good. Thus far not one convict insight has helped do much but edge the plot along slowly.

The characters are also incredibly cliche. It's to a point that you wonder if maybe this show is performance art and they know how bad it is. Here's a breakdown of the cast. I don't remember character names, that's how bad the show is.

Black Cop Leader: Head of the "Special Program". Incredibly well dressed and groomed especially for a cop's salary. He is the smooth alpha male leader, equipped with street tough one liners and yet careful insight. He has his demons to battle but he's really a good cop with a dark view who wants to do right.

White Cop Flunky: He's the Joe Beer Drinker aspect of the cast. Big, burly, badly dressed and unshaven, he's the guy who goes to the cop bar, a real one-of-the-guys type. Tough and with bad attitude but deep down loves his partner and wants to do right. Uses terms in a bad New York accent such as "Scumbag" and "Dirtbag".

Black Convict One: Good looking, street smart but with an educated edge to him. He gets the streets and is the super alpha male of the group of convicts. Always says the right thing and his no-nonsense logic is supposedly vital to whatever it is the team is doing.

Hot White Chick: The girl who is too hot and too well put together to be a convict unless she was arrested in Milan for impersonating a model. She's way too street tough to have the manicure and haircut she has. She always bests the guys with that "Go Girl" sneer and when she beats them she always gives that come-hither look. Probably the most unbelievable character in the cast.

Smart White Guy Nerd: Hacker with cool haircut (apparently they style hair in prison) who is socially awkward and incredibly smart. This combination makes it okay for everybody in the cast to pick on and insult him. He also is always quoting some kind of "Nerd Thing".

Hot White Secretary: Bumbling and awkward, we know she's not hot because she has her hair in a bun and wears glasses. Obviously if you stripped away the painfully over-compensating demure outfit she's a raging hot lady but once again Hair-in-bun-and-glasses. She serves no purpose other than to have another hot chick in the show.

On top of the bad characters there's also really bad dialog. The White Cop "Howyadoin" guy refers to the convicts as animals and you get lots of "You're not out here to do (insert something), you're here to do what we tell you), or some variation of that. Lots of quick quips from the convicts as they engage in banter with their opressor cops. The criminals are usually one dimensional, either way too good looking serial killers or violent offenders who stay too quiet or make too much noise to actually be violent.

The worst are the outlandish prison breaks. If these idiots could really plan something that extravagant and well executed, I doubt they'd be in prison. Breakout Kings also tries too hard to be edgy and cool. Usually that kind of things comes out naturally through the stories and characters e.g. The Killing or Supernatural or Breaking Bad. Here it's like watching CHIPS as seen through the camera lense of an NYU graduate that spent most of his life making in-store videos for French Connection or Ambercrombe. I realize it's the first season but thus far the Breakout Kings can't escape from it's own cliched characters and plot devices.

24 Series Finale: My Review

So after eight seasons and an equal amount of days 24 came to a big resounding end on Monday night. I am a huge fan of 24, have been ever since I started watching the series a few years ago. At that point I was living in a room in a huge house with like eight other people. I was between girlfriends and when I wasn't slutting it out with the local college talent I didn't have much to do. On my down time from work I'd go over to Hollywood video and rent DVDs just to kill time. One day I decided to rent 24 season one and instantly I was hooked. I started renting them furiously until I had made my way through the first four seasons.

Starting with season 5 I became a weekly watcher and while seasons five and six kind of blew monkey dick the producers really stepped up the game with season seven and season eight started with great promise. So how did the final two hours of one of the best shows on television measure up? Well, to be honest, it was all kind of a let down. Not so much because the season was bad but because the writers really chickened the fuck out. First off with this whole 24 movie nonsense. The whole idea of 24 is a day in the life of Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) so to cram that into two hours would probably suck. It also left the end very anticlimactic since Bauer escapes in a seriously unbelievable way.

For those not hip to season 8 the entire thing centers around a plot by the Russian Government to derail a peace treaty being signed between them, the USA and a middle eastern country called the IRQ. Through a series of events way, way too long to go into Jack Bauer's lover is killed, and the President Of The United States becomes embroiled in a massive cover up consisting of the death of the President of the IRQ as well as the Russians and so on. The cover up and the death of his lover turns Jack Bauer into a revenge seeking super solider driven by bloodlust.

That's where the real problems come in and how the writers chickened out. Nobody in this season acted like anything close to their characters. If they had the entire season would have been ground to halt around 3/4 of the way through. Right up until President Taylor is seduced into covering up the Russian conspiracy that nearly destroyed NYC and ended the life of the IRQ President, everything was fine. Once she agreed to the ridiculous cover up the entire show came apart. Due to her compliance Jack Bauer, still pissed the Russians assassinated his lady, snaps and goes on a killing spree to "uncover the truth".

The problem is he never really tries to uncover any truth but rather just starts killing people. This is not what the last seven seasons of 24 have shown Bauer to be. He may have hurt and killed the enemy to expose the truth behind the cover up but whole sale slaughter just doesn't ring true. Plus he was doing it over a chick he hadn't seen in years but suddenly became so in love with he threw his life with his daughter and granddaughter down the shitter? That's no Jack, it's some 80s Commando type guy.

President Taylor's sudden involvement in the conspiracy, something that goes against her character for the last two seasons, is so out of left field that the resolution suddenly becomes clear. As cliche as it is you just know she'll have some moment of clarity that will make her rise to the occasion. When she does it rings as shallow and false as does her sudden ability to give Bauer time to try and leave the country. If Bauer had died doing this or had he taken his own life once he realized what he had become at least the show would've ended with some weight to it. Instead Jack just runs off into the sunset leaving it open for the movie.

Overall 24 season eight was a thumbs up because more of it kicked ass than sucked but the end was a big let down. I expected more from such an awesome writing team and I expected more from Kiefer Sutherland and company. Though I enjoyed all eight seasons of 24 on some level nothing that happened in these last two hours gives me any desire to see the movie.

I guess you'd called that a failed mission.

V - MY REVIEW

I'll be the first to admit that I met the idea of a new series based on the 1983 mini-series V with great trepidation. Every time I saw commercials for it I would get Battlestar Galactica flashbacks. I realize most found the new BSG to be the greatest reinvention of an old series ever but for me it failed on every single level save for Edward James Olmos who I pretty much love in anything. With my Post Traumatic BSG Stress Disorder in full swing I sat down to watch V hopeful but wary.

For those who never saw the original V it tells the story of a group aliens who land on our planet claiming to be a friend of humanity, one that will cure our ills and save our world. Beneath their human exteriors they're actually reptilian beings looking to turn humanity into either slaves or food. The original mini-series ended with the human resistance defeating the aliens and driving them out of our planet for good. That was before the ill fated TV series which lasted one season.

The new V series is more in depth, more dramatic and obviously looks better than the 1983 series. Being this is just the pilot episode I wasn't expecting everything to be perfect and was pleasantly surprised at how much actually worked. Don't get me wrong, there are some major issues with V but as far as pilots go I enjoyed it and I'm interested in seeing episode two.

What works with the new V series is mainly the slant on how the resistance is formed. Instead of just whipping one up as the aliens did in the original it turns out the aliens had placed sleeper cells throughout the world to prepare for the coming invasion. I thought that was a great idea, it really strengthened why the traitor aliens would turn against their home world to help us. In the original the resistance aliens just felt bad while here they have grown to know us and care for us.

I also liked the way V spoke to humanities love of instant gratification. Aliens land, give us cures and technology and suddenly we worship and love them with open arms. Playing off of that and how the aliens manipulate the media updates the series but still stays in line with the original. Character wise the new series stays pretty true to the original formula. In the '83 V the resistance was lead by news cameraman and ultimate do-gooder Marc Singer as well as emotional scientist Juliet Parish. The man-woman leaders are still intact only this time around it's FBI Agent Erica Evans and Father Jack Landry. I'm hoping they've made the male lead a Priest in order to do away with any lame love interest angle.

What doesn't work with the new V series mainly stems from the producers taking a good idea way too far. For instance the V's are all supposed to be attractive in their fake human skins but here they all look like movie stars. While I understand that speaks to America's celebrity fascination it doesn't work here. I feel like nobody would instantly trust a bunch of supermodels from outer space. What made the original V aliens work was that while they did look nice and respectable they were all different. These aliens all look too much like a Milan runway show.

The same can be said for the sleeper cell idea. Instead of just having the story maintain that the sleeper cells arrived and learned our strengths and weaknesses in the new series the sleeper V aliens are responsible for every bad thing happening right now from the economy to terrorism. So it wasn't an age old devotion to an ancient religion that drove the 9/11 terrorists to crash the planes it was a bunch of aliens? It was too much, too grandiose and too hard to swallow. It would have been just as effective for the sleepers to have contacted the aliens when our world was falling apart and said that now was the time to strike.

The other problem with the sleeper cell idea is that of character Ryan Nichols played by Morris Chestnut. When the aliens land he's called back into action to help gather the resistance but he refuses because now he has a girlfriend he's about to ask to marry him. Huh? How exactly would that work out? Didn't she ever ask about his family? What did he think would happen when the aliens showed up? What about kids, didn't it worry him that they'd have an alien hybrid baby? There's too many variables to believe that any sleeper alien would marry a human.

One funny thing is that the new V series carried over a problem the old V series had which was why didn't they just annihilate us and take what they wanted? Why be coy? Why this gigantic master plan? I was happy that one character in the new V actually asks that question because they never addressed it in the old series. I was also glad that the new series got right down to the reptile angle because it wouldn't be the big reveal that it was in 1983, we all know too much about the show.

All in all the new V was pretty good and held my interest enough to want to come back for more. I'm still really interested in how the producers are going to make this an ongoing show. Part of what made the old show so miserable was the idea of continuously fighting the aliens grew old fast. How they plan to keep it interesting this go 'round only time will tell. If they don't it'll be the shortest alien invasion in celluloid history.

SMALLVILLE METALLO EPISODE - MY REVIEW

Just a quick thing to put people's mind's at ease before I start the review. I'm not going to be doing a weekly review of Smallville so don't worry, the blog won't become cluttered with them. I'm mainly going to be doing them when a major guest character comes in or if something so ridiculous happens I need to blog about it. OK so, on with the review.

Smallville is slowly starting to remind me of Tinkerbell. It's become this little light that's slowly going out at the hands of evil doers and all we as fans want to do is clap really loud and say "I do believe in Smallville, I do believe in Smallville". I say this because the people currently in charge of the show don't believe in Smallville and apparently will not rest until they've run the show into the ground. This week's episode is a prime example of how people who have no concept of what Superman or Smallville is about are controlling the series.

This week Clark (or excuse me THE BLUR) faces off against Metallo played on the show by Brian Austin Green the kid from 90210. As the show begins Clark is still doing good deeds but refuses to break off fully from his past life to focus on his Kryptonian training because he loves Lois so much. Meanwhile John Corben (Brian Austin Green) is continuing his quest to try and bring down The Blur. Corben is hit by a truck and wakes up with a Kryptonite heart in this bizarre chest apparatus and a mechanical arm. Tess is also hanging around but mainly with some computer geek trying to figure out where Zod and his army vanished to.

The problems with this episode stem from the idea that nothing actually happens on this show anymore it's all set up and no pay off. If it's not set up and no pay off it's a rush to just get something on screen. For instance we're given no time to get to know Corben before suddenly he's hit by a truck and wakes up as Metallo. The whole driving force of his hatred of The Blur is Corben blames him for his sister's death. That idea is given a whole 6 minutes to marinate and somehow we're supposed to feel a connection to that whole issue.

I also wasn't happy that the producers tried to force it that Zod and his cronies built Metallo. How lucky they chose the one guy who hated The Blur huh? I understand that this is supposed to be another version of the Superman mythos but that doesn't mean trying to force a round peg in a square hole just for ratings.

The build up and no pay off equation really comes to light when Clark finally faces off with Metallo. Just like the big "battle" with Doomsday nothing really happens. They toss each other around a bit and then Clark welds a lead top to the Kryptonite heart which renders Metallo's Kryptonite heart useless as a weapon. Now why didn't Clark do that to begin with instead of this whole ham-fisted electro-bomb thing? So with the Kryptonite heart neutralized Metallo still has his super strength and now it's time for the face to face battle, right!? NOPE. Instead Metallo gets really angry and rips off the lead top effectively pulling out his heart and killing himself. WOW, that was good television. The only reason it wasn't as awful as the Doomsday fight was that it didn't take a whole season to get to.

Acting wise they've shifted the focus again to Lois and that's always a mistake. Erica Durance is a real miracle of evolution in that her acting gets WORSE the longer she's on the show. When confronted with Metallo who wants to kill her she says "When did you become a human light bright"..yep, top notch shit there.

Then there's Brian Austin Green as Corben/Metallo. Apparently somebody told Brian that if he worked out his abs and biceps it would strengthen his acting because that seems to be the focus of his "Metallo" side. Brian allows us to know that he's angry by breathing heavily and talking in the dramatic whisper, outside of that his acting chops are taxed. Combine that with how fake the Metallo heart apparatus looks and you don't get much of a threatening bad guy, which is a shame since Metallo is such a great character.

Then there's Chloe who continues to kick ass and be the emotional center of the entire series. Allison Mack is not only good as her own character but she also raises Tom Welling's (Clark) acting up to a respectable level. You can tell he needs a solid actor to play off of because his work with Erica Durance has zero chemistry and zero believability. I keep hoping the producers will go way off the reservation and have Lois die and Clark fall in love with Chloe because she's somebody you want to see stick around.

Another aspect of the show that kind of bugged me was the end when Clark suddenly returns after deciding that he can't turn his back on his humanity. I have no issue with that happening, in fact I kind of expected it, but once again the producers rushed it. The end of last season was all about Clark giving up his humanity as was the season premiere. He battled Jor-El about Lois, Chloe about turning his back on Clark and then BAM he's back and everything is okay.

Why not let that be an underlining theme for the entire season, why end it so soon? Personally I think that the producers know the ship is sinking so they're throwing anything they can at us hoping something will stick.

Hey guys check the ratings, your plan isn't working.

DOLLHOUSE SEASON PREMIERE - MY REVIEW

I came very late to the Dollhouse party and mainly got there by accident. I was working one night and bored so I started watching Dollhouse on Hulu.com and about halfway through really began liking it. I don't care for Eliza Dushku at all, she can't act, she's not really that pretty and on screen she seems either fake or flat. That whole thing works in Dollhouse because she doesn't have to be anybody for a long period of time, right when she starts chewing up the scene she's gets a "Treatement" and we're back out again.

As season 2 kicks off everybody is still reeling from the effects of Alpha's (the bad Doll) violent visit to the Dollhouse. Echo (Dushku) is now on loan to Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Peniket) the obsessive FBI agent who invaded the Dollhouse at the end of last season and was then given a job helping to find Alpha. SOMEHOW that meant he and Echo go undercover to find an arms dealer. Echo's programming has led her to become the wife of the arms dealer which disgusts Ballard as he pines for her.

Meanwhile Dr. Claire Saunders (Amy Acker) is having a complete mental breakdown. Since discovering she was a doll reprogrammed to be the house Doctor and that her face was cut up by Alpha because he wanted Echo to be number one, she's been focusing her rage on overly dorky Dollhouse brain Topher Brink (Fran Kranz). Echo's former handler Boyd Langton (Harry Lennix) grows more concerned about Echo's evolution and her ability to resist the mind wipes. He's also grown fond of Dr. Saunders which makes her even more unstable.

That's essentially the opening episode and to be honest it's kind of a clunker. It isn't bad per-say it just isn't great, it isn't the episode that should have kicked off the season. Season 1 ended with such a great high that this even toned episode is almost boring. I realize it's the first episode but there's little done with the relationship between doll's Victor (Enver Gjokaj) and Sierra (Dichen Lachman) which was one of the best things about season one. There's a cool little ending bit with them but I wanted to see more.

The main problem with the story is the arms dealer thing which goes from stupid to absolutely unbelievable in record time. There is supposed to be this tension between Echo and Ballard that isn't there mainly because both Dushku and Peniket are one note actors. Dushku does sexy/confused and Peniket does angry/bitter and that just doesn't make for good chemistry. There's also the wrap up of the arms dealer story which is so beyond believable that it feels like the writers stuffed it in to give a reason for Paul Ballard to become Echo's new handler.

The thing that does really work is the weird venomous tirade of Dr. Saunders against Topher Brink. She hates him and it is obviously hurting Brink each day. Amy Acker is awesome as the ruthless Dr. Saunders and as each mind game gets worse she gets better at being a bitch. At the same time Acker plays the Dr to where you feel bad for her and riding that line is never easy. Even Fran Kranz brings his A-game to his portrayal of Topher in this episode. The final confrontation between the two of them is the best scene of the episode and the most well written thing on the entire show so far. Amy Acker is leaving the series and that will leave a considerable hole.

What Joss Whedon and the other writers for Dollhouse need to be careful of is losing the humanity of each player. Paul Ballard has started to suck so badly as a person you don't care what he does or who he is, in fact when he's on screen I tend to doze off. They also need to make sure they don't vilify too much Claire DeWitt (Olivia Williams) the cougar-like head of the entire Dollhouse. Last season she had a lot of sides and layers but in this episode she struts around like Cruella DeVille and that's kind of beneath who she is.

I've been a big fan of enough of Joss Whedon's stuff to realize he's the master of the slow-roll-and-boil. Things creep along and then BANG take off so I'm still excited to see where season 2 goes as the year progresses. With this episode I just saw some of the same cracks in the armor that started towards the end of last season and I'd hate for those to become giant holes that consume an otherwise good show.

SMALLVILLE SEASON PREMIERE-MY REVIEW

Tonight was the Smallville season premiere and I, like many fans, were hoping it was going to restore some confidence in the show. The last two or more seasons have been a real lesson in how to watch something die an agonizing death and when the big fight with Doomsday turned out to be a whimper instead of a bang Smallville seemed all but lost. Still though we as fans are always optimistic so we pressed on, waiting for the new season to bring us back to what made us love Smallville in the first place.

Yeah, well, we're still in trouble.

If the season premiere is any indication Smallville has gone completely off the reservation, fallen into a well and broken its leg. Sadly there is no Lassie to help us rescue Smallville, we have to simply watch it limp to its death. The Smallville season premiere has amped up that which was destroying the show to begin with, darkness, melancholy and general doom and gloom. Smallville was a fun show, it had monsters, story arcs with aliens and Clark running around discovering a new power each week. The townspeople were involved. Clark's parents were there (apparently being a Senator means Ma Kent is NEVER coming home), it was a fun show to watch. Now it's like One Tree Hill with Superpowers and that just doesn't work.

The new season opens with Chloe (Alison Mack) trying to find Oliver Queen (Justin Hartley). Seems Ollie and the other JLA members went into hiding after Jimmy Olsen's death last year (though apparently he wasn't the real Jimmy Olsen but his brother). Racked with guilt the JLA members are in the wind and Chloe is left in her righteous Watchtower pad looking forlorn. Meanwhile Lois, who vanished into the future via Legion Of Superheroes ring, has reappeared again with no memory of where she was but also not alone. With her is another Kryptonian woman who seems to be itching to kill Lois (ain't we all). Clark is being trained by Jor-El which seems to mean he watches flashing Kryptonian words and tries to act tough.

That's one of the main problems with Smallville's turn to the dark side, the actors just aren't good enough to carry it. Clark is supposed to be battling between being inhuman and human, trying to turn his back on his humanity and yet not being able to. That's an almost Shakespearean theme that actor Tom Welling just isn't up to. The producers have also decided to allow a lot of the emotional power of the show rest on Lois Lane (Erica Durance) and WHOA is that a bad idea. All these scenes that are supposed to be dark or sadly emotional just come of as silly. Erica Durance has no range so everything is just sarcastic or pouty and MAN does that get old fast.

Then there's Clark's new "Superman" suit which I've already railed against on my blog. It's just so badly thought out. Superman doesn't wear a black club kid outfit with a long coat, it just doesn't look right. Again what is supposed to come off as new and exciting comes off as wrong, like the producers and writers have no idea what Superman is all about.

I also wasn't a big fan of the new villains. Brain Austin Green isn't quite a super villain yet (that's next episode) but his attempts to be dark and mysterious are largely held up by the constant reminder that this was the white hip hop kid from 90210. It renders his menace as a super villain next to nothing. Worse still is Callum Blue who plain out sucks as General Zod. Blue is about as menacing as an ice cream cone plus his acting "chops" leave him little in the way of choices. To make Zod seem regal and maniacal Callum simply over enunciates words in a thick British accent. When Zod and longtime scene-killer Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman) decide to work together the sinkocity goes through the roof.

I'm also tired of the show under using Chloe Sullivan. I've been a big proponent of her dying to give the show some emotional weight and that's mainly because she's the only one worth caring about. Sure she has some lame one-liners but Chloe carries a scene, she makes you care about her and in turn that makes you want to follow the show. If the rest of the cast were that good Smallville would be the new Friends. If this is Chloe's last season I hope they put her out front for it. I worry though, her last scene with Clark in the season premiere comes out of nowhere and is totally out of character for Chloe. It felt more like the producers needed to create tension so they tacked it on.

As always the giant hole left by the absence of Lex Luthor screamed at me through the entire episode. The premiere had Metallo, Zod, a Kyrptonian chick, Zod's personal army and STILL they couldn't hold a candle to Lex Luthor. Get the blank check ready guys, it's time to bring the man back to the fold.

Smallville's season nine premiere tried to introduce too many elements and none of them really worked. The cast looks tired, the writing feels tired and the whole thing limps along like Superman chained to green Kryptonite. I'm going to watch the whole season and I hope by the end I'm eating a big bowl of crow and Smallville kicks ass once again.

Somehow I doubt it.

CSI-MIAMI SEASON PREMIERE

I don't know why I love the CSI shows but I do, I really love them. CSI is creepy and weird, CSI New York tries WAAAY too hard to be cool and CSI Miami is like Miami Vice with a better budget. I don't follow these shows like I do Supernatural or Fringe but I still love watching them as a way to decompress from everything else. The CSI Miami season premiere is the first of the CSI premieres and I have to say it was actually a lot of fun to watch. I guess part of it for me is that I don't really "care" about the characters so it's fun to watch them run around in their sun soaked world and solve crimes wearing clothes no state employee could possibly afford. I mean when you watch two hot women study a crime scene in designer pants and wedges, that's good times.

When last we saw Horatio "Sunglasses" Caine and his merry band of crime solvers it was a grim scene. Agent Eric Delko had been shot trying to help is ex-con dad escape and when the season premiere opens up he's laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. Is it me or do these producers always slap the shit out of Delko when they need drama? His sister was killed, he was shot in the head and now he's near death once again. I guess it's because everybody hates officer Ryan Wolfe so much and the producers have set Horatio up as superhuman. The interesting twist on the season premiere is that it's shot in two different time frames.

While the CSI agents look worried and do their best "heavy sigh" acting to show they feel bad about Delko the show jumps back twelve years to when Horatio Caine first arrived in Miami from New York. The show's been on for eight years so this takes us way back to before any of the crew even knew each other. Naturally there's a brutal murder and everybody believes one thing while Horatio believes another. The rest of the show jumps between Delko in the hospital and showing how the team got together.

Believe it or not there is some really interesting stuff in the flashback section of the show. Delko before he was a cop, Calleigh Duquesne as a bright eyed always smiling happy go lucky agent, Frank Tripp as a beat cop, etc. There is one silly moment where we first meet Natalie Boa Vista which I though unnecessary since they didn't try to sneak Ryan Wolfe in the flashbacks but whatever, it was still fun to watch. Nothing much happens in the "present day" section except Delko being sick but the "flashback" manages to go off the grid a little. Mainly it shows how nobody cared about forensic science in 1997 until Horatio showed up and used it to prove everybody wrong and convict the right man. At the end we hear mention of a guy named "Speed" as well as a tongue in cheek look at how Horatio got his trademark shades.

The CSI Miami season premiere was good fun, nothing incredibly deep or special, just a really good time at home on the couch. I'm sure Delko will be fine and within a few episodes it'll be back to killer-of-the-week stuff and I'll watch. For some reason the silliness of the show makes me love it and I still laugh to myself when Horatio makes some big statement and then slips on the shades.

Performance wise nobody does anything different. David Caruso still talks to everybody with his head bent to an angle, Delko still looks more like cheesecake than a cop, Calleigh bops around or looks "sad", etc etc. Stretching the parameters of "acting" isn't really what CSI is about so faulting it for shoddy acting just seems mean to me. If you're looking for deeper TV watch Law & Order but on those nights you want to veg check out CSI Miami.

FRINGE SEASON PREMIERE - MY REVIEW

First of all I'm sorry this is so late, life just grabbed both my testicles and screamed "EYES FRONT" and I had to listen. The ironic part in all of this is that when Fringe first started I would've never counted myself among its biggest fans. With the possible exception of Star Trek I've never been a huge supporter of JJ Abrams and the first five episodes of Fringe are some of the worst television ever committed to film. However somewhere around that sixth or seventh episode the show found its rhythm and continued to kick ass all year. It ended the first season with one of the most interesting cliffhangers in recent memory and I've been waiting for the premiere with baited breath.

Let's recap shall we? When we last left the Fringe Division of the FBI things were all wonky. Though they had stopped the madman trying to crossover into the "other" dimension agent Olivia Dunham was dealt a blow when she discovered our beloved Dr. Walter Bishop and the elusive William Bell had experimented on her and others like her when they were children. Fringe Division itself was in trouble as the "Pattern" became more widespread and the bizarre relationship between Fringe Division head agent Philip Broyles and Massive Dynamic head honcho Nina Sharp deepened. Then we had Dr. Bishop's son Peter and the sexual tension between him and Olivia as well as his constant desire to escape working for Fringe. The whole thing came to a head when Olivia found herself in another dimension at the top of a still standing World Trade Center.

I'm happy to report the season premiere opens up with a bang and never lets go. BANG, two cars crash in New york City. One of them has no driver, not one that got out or jumped but NO DRIVER at all. The second car's driver runs from the scene and proceeds to steal an identity in a way that says "Nope I'm not from around here". The first car with no driver is registered to one Olivia Dunham though she can't be located.

From there the season premiere picks up speed as Olivia returns from the other dimension in a most brutal way, we discover the other driver is actually there to kill Olivia and prevent her from having a "meeting", one Olivia can't remember at all. Agent Philip Broyles is told the Fringe Division will be shut down immediately for lack of results. Not to mention we still don't know what the hell is going on in Dimension Two with William Bell. Trust me the season premiere answers some questions but leaves plenty of others as well as giving a twist ending that kind of made me sad.

The one thing I continue to love about Fringe, which is the same thing that made me a die hard X-Files fan, is that I never know where it will go next or exactly how all the pieces fit together. This isn't like Lost which is so busy being secretive and "cool" that it's almost like an exclusive club only a few can join. Fringe manages to build on what we've learned in season one but not at the expense of people joining in for season two. We all get to watch pieces fall together at the same time which just makes for a better show I think.

Anna Torv seems more at ease playing Olivia Dunham and Joshua Jackson keeps his cringe-worthy snappy one liners to a minimum. John Noble continues to be brilliant as Dr. Walter Bishop as does Lance Reddick (one of the best things about the show The Wire) as Agent Philip Broyles. It's obviously too early to tell if season two will rise to the heights season one did but as far as premieres go it was definitely one of the best so far.

SUPERNATURAL SEASON PREMIERE - MY REVIEW

Supernatural is a silent gift from the TV gods. With so many shows blustering and bragging about how good they are Supernatural has slinked along in the shadows over the last four years consistently kicking ass. Tonight was the start of season 5 and it looks like another year of hell for the brothers Winchester. Sam has started Armageddon, the devil is coming to Earth, the brothers are not exactly thick as thieves anymore and the Archangels still want Dean to captain their war effort. Yep, it's gonna be a bitch of a year for Sam and Dean.

I'm not going to give away any big plot details here but trust me you'll be cheering through the entire episode. Once again the writing is crisp, the characters are intriguing and the action is non-stop. I'm also a big fan of the fact that the writers make the Demons and Satan truly evil. They're not hip or cool or funny they are mean spirited, vicious and cruel. At one point Satan is trying to convince his vessel (a human body to act through) to let him in by appearing as the man's dead wife. There are also some very heavy images portraying just how horrible the Devil is going to be.

The relationship with the Winchesters has taken on a nice dimension this season, one that's been building for the last four years. I've always loved the fact that no matter how over-the-top the supernatural elements get the show itself is strongly rooted in the relationship between Sam and Dean. The creators of Supernatural have kept the boys close but tense for three years and then did a great job of slowly destroying that relationship in season four.

Now with the greatest threat they've ever faced before them Dean doesn't trust Sam at all. On top of that the Archangels are tired of Dean ducking his "responsibility" to them and their desire to go to war with the demons. So much is packed into this first episode and yet it never loses focus, it never gets confusing. What's interesting here is how the writers have stacked the deck against Sam & Dean. Instead of zeroing in on the Satan aspect the writers have turned pretty much everybody they can against the brothers. If this really is the last season it's shaping up to be a doozy.

As always Jared Padalecki (Sam) and Jensen Ackles (Dean) are great as the brothers. The chemistry between them is always awesome to watch especially with the added tension of the mistrust. Jim Beaver is back in full awesome mode as Bobby Singer and of course the man who always steals the show Misha Collins is just brilliant as the angel Castiel. As for Satan Mark Pellegrino appears only as the human vessel Satan is looking to inhabit so it's unclear if he'll be convincing as Lucifer himself. I have faith though, the casting on Supernatural has been spot on for the last four years.

Will all of season five live up to the promise of the first episode? Who knows. Will this actually be the last season of Supernatural? I have no idea. What I do know is Supernatural has shot out of the gate with a bang so if anybody needs me on Thursday night I'll be glued to the TV watching The Winchester brothers slap out at Satan, Demons, Angels and anybody else stupid enough to get in their way