Meredith Viera Sucks

Apparently the Today show is running out of things to over-pay their "news anchors" to do so they've turned their attention to fucking things up overseas. Meredith Viera went to England to visit the set of Doctor Who. I should have known this was going to suck when the text for the segment read Dr. Who. I don't know what's more offensive, the fact that she has no clue what the show is or that she treats it like its some kind of new trend.

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THE WALKING DEAD ALL OFFICIAL LIKE

Not much to say here that I didn't say when the leaked version hit. Amped on the show, love the comic, can't fucking wait. Here's the hi-end official trailer for The Walking Dead TV series.

Putting The ASS Back in AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

Okay look I'm not a big fan of the Disney XD animation style, this fake Japanime/American bullshit which makes everybody look like your viewing them through a prism and have lower jaws you could wrench somebody free from a car with. So when the Avengers cartoon was announced I figured it just wasn't something I would care about, much like the upcoming movie. Well that all changed today when I saw the trailer. Watch the whole thing, seriously, wait for the theme song.




ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING?

What bunch of geezer yahoo suit wearing asshole Hollywood scumbags thought that this song would appeal to anybody? I can't even begin to think of a target audience this would target. Not even the kids who think Avenged Sevenfold is a good band would warm up to this shit. Well, at least it's good for a laugh.

SMALLVILLE Season 10 Trailer. It Ain't The Thor Footage.....

Oh what you wanted TOM WELLING with his shirt open?

I didn't get to go to San Diego Comic Con which is totally FUCKING BULLSHIT fine with me because to be honest I can't afford to go I'm too much of a comic purist to want to be part of something so obviously tainted by Hollywood unless somebody pays for me to go and all of its money hungry bullshit.

That understood I did a wrap up of what I thought was important and one of those things was Smallville. Well, here's the trailer for season 10 and it has some cool surprises. It's hard to get a wicked hard on for Smallville no matter what since it's sucked to bad for two years but hey I might watch it now, especially if they do get Lex Luthor to return.

TEEN GIRLS GET IT ON!!

GOTCHA!!

This may not be the Bill Hicks idea of the perfect Tiffany and Debbie Gibson video but it's pretty damn funny. As you may or may not know the Syphilis SyFy Channel is pairing the two eighties teen queens together in a movie titled Megapython Vs Gatoroid where they play I guess scientists who hate each other but have to cum come together to fight the two big bads. Outside of the fight my favorite is that Gatoroids sounds like a disease you'd catch drinking too Gatorade.

"Coach my ass really hurts and there are these weird puss filled sores!"

"Sounds like a bad case of Gatoroids!

Anyway here's the video

NEW AIRBENDER: Don't Let M. Night Shamalamadingdong see this!!

While I usually cringe when people continue stories that wrapped up perfectly this actually sounds cool. Apparently Michael DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko the original creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender are doing a sequel to the series and I have to say if the synopsis holds true to the show it could be cool. The show is called Avatar: The Legend Of Korra and it's slated to air next year. Here's the synopsis:

The Legend of Korra takes place 70 years after the events of Avatar: The Last Airbender and follows the adventures of the Avatar after Aang - a passionate, rebellious, and fearless teenaged girl from the Southern Water Tribe named Korra. With three of the four elements under her belt (Earth, Water, and Fire), Korra seeks to master the final element, Air. Her quest leads her to the epicenter of the modern "Avatar" world, Republic City - a metropolis that is fueled by steampunk technology. It is a virtual melting pot where benders and non-benders from all nations live and thrive. However, Korra discovers that Republic City is plagued by crime as well as a growing anti-bending revolution that threatens to rip it apart. Under the tutelage of Aang's son, Tenzin, Korra begins her airbending training while dealing with the dangers at large.

See now that sounds awesome to me, a totally different story built off the mythology instead of trying to send the old gang out for one more try. I also like that the problems are crime and an anti-bending revolution (very X-Men) instead of something lame like ZuKko is bad again and the Fire Nation are rising up. Not only is this a cool story on it's own but it'll be neat to see what happened to the original gang.

Fingers crossed here

The Best Thing About This ROBERT KIRKMAN WALKING DEAD Video

Sure it's cool to see the zombies move around, sure it's cool to hear Robert Kirkman talk about the show and yes of course it kicks ass to see Frank Darabont directing the action. However, what's really cool is the intro by whatever MTV puppet they have in the beginning. Right behind him and to the left of the guy typing behind the mouth piece is the my old desk area when I worked there. Anyway here's the footage.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Right, cool huh? Okay maybe not as cool as the zombie stuff but still cool right? Ah fuck you.

Wanna Know How Bad SMALLVILLE Is Now?

Look at this photo, seriously really, really look at it. Drink in the hotness, let it wash over you like a warm summer rain. Now think of something this hot dressed in the tiny Supergirl outfit and just how hot that is. Yep, Laura Vandervoort is going to be back to play Supergirl for one episode in the tenth and jesus fucking christ it's about time final episode of Smallville. Even with this layer of hotness I will not watch the tenth season because the show sucks so badly.

Now THAT is some suck

Ladies And Gentlemen You're WALKING DEAD.....

So after a slew of various zombie shots and a few of Sheriff Rick finally we get to see the complete cast of the upcoming Walking Dead TV show. I must say I'm fucking killer amped for this not only because Frank Darabont is doing it but also because it's on AMC which currently houses my favorite TV show Breaking Bad. For those curious how it all breaks down here's a cool thing showing the photos of the actors by the comic character they'll portray. It looks pretty fucking spot on.

Debbie Gibson & Tiffany in a movie, but sadly not the Bill Hicks movie

I remember the days when Tiffany and Debbie Gibson were king of the charts, teenage cool makers and trend setters, the days when it seemed we'd always be alone now with our electric youth. Sadly those days are gone and after both stars appeared in Playboy and Debbie Gibson toured with the Circle Jerks (I was there or I would never have believed it, it's time for a slap fight with both eighties stars in the center

Now before you get the warm towels and lotion let me tell you that it's not a fight between these two. Instead Syfy has teamed the two for Mega Python Vs Gatoroid. Since both have played "scientists" in other syfy "movies" I'm curious if they'll be playing the same characters as before. As much fun as all this sounds I must defer to Bill Hicks Debbie Gibson/Tiffany movie. Go to 7:23 in the video below and see if this doesn't sound WAY better.

First Images Of ANDREW LINCOLN as RICK GRIMES in WALKING DEAD

Okay maybe it's not the super cool action shot you wanted. I'm just happy because it's not yet another zombie shot, that was getting annoying. I have to say having read Walking Dead from the first issue this Andrew Lincoln dude looks awesome as Rick Grimes, this seriously looks like a shot right out of the book. I hope he and the rest of the cast do it justice because I would love for the series to take off.

SYFY'S PHANTOM Can Go Fuck Itself

I'd love to sit down with the think tank behind this shitty relaunch of The Phantom and between bouts of smashing their testicles with a hammer ask them what the hell fuck they were thinking when coming up with this awful idea. Did one guy stand up and say "I have an idea that totally SUCKS" and then somebody else said "And I can FUCK it up even worse!!" Why does The Phantom look like one of the cops from the new Star Trek movie or a member of Daft Punk? Plus his arch nemesis is a wacko, brilliant, nutty, deadly head of a global corporation? How fucking original!!

I thought nothing could out-gay the Michal Chiklis debacle No Ordinary Family but I was WRONG!! Think I'm overreacting? Watch this trailer.



See, it's shockingly bad even for SYFY. Let's hope this goes the way of Birds Of Prey and other awful superhero shows.

TORCHWOOD RETURNS!! Plus ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!!

I'm so fucking amped on this I could shit a Tardis!! The Doctor Who spin-off series Torchwood has been given ten new episodes coming off of the awesome Children Of Earth run. Here's the press statement:

BBC Cymru Wales, BBC Worldwide and US premium entertainment network, Starz Entertainment, have today announced a three way co-production partnership that will develop a new series of the hit BBC sci-fi drama Torchwood. BBC Worldwide will also distribute the series to broadcasters globally.

The 10-episode instalment will be written by a team led by Torchwood creator, Russell T Davies, and produced by BBC Worldwide Productions. Davies and BBC Worldwide Productions' SVP Scripted, Julie Gardner, return as executive producers with BBC Worldwide Productions EVP Jane Tranter. The series has been commissioned by Controller BBC ONE, Jay Hunt, Controller BBC Drama, Ben Stephenson, and Starz President and CEO, Chris Albrecht.

While previous series were based on location in Cardiff, Wales, this new installment will see storylines widen to include locations in the U.S. and around the world. John Barrowman and Eve Myles will return in their roles as Captain Jack and Gwen respectively, along with new faces.

I'm amped on this for a multitude of reasons but the main was is I get to continue watching John Barrowman rock shit the right way as Captain Jack. It's been a really long time since a character was so charming, complex as well as kicking serious amounts of ass. Only the British could have an action hero who is bi-sexual (and into aliens as well) plus make him goofy and funny instead of Dark And Melancholy. Want further proof John Barrowman is THE ONE!! Dig this and be silenced:

DOCTOR WHO BATTLES HIS MOST HORRENDOUS FOE....MUSICAL THEATER

I'm a recent fan of the new Doctor Who so I won't try and fake the funk. When I watched the good Doctor it was Tom Baker all the way and then Peter Davison and a bit of Colin Baker. I didn't rush into the new series because I thought it looked too good, Doctor Who was supposed to be cheap looking ala the first Star Trek series. Dalek's looked like garbage cans, so forth and so on. However when I did relent I found myself madly in love with the new series.

Now comes news that Doctor Who is going to step off the screen and hit the stage as a musical and I pretty much think that sucks ass. Granted the show is being helmed by Steven Moffat the head writer for the show but still, a singing dancing Doctor battling Daleks just seems wrong to me. The only thing that could work would be to see how long the audience could stand a duet between two Daleks in love. The show is only touring through Europe and I doubt it will see much in the way of an American pass through. The new Doctor on the show Matt Smith and his assistant Karen Gillian won't be having anything to do with the show, which is probably for the best.

The music will be helmed by Murray Gold, a guy who has come under a severe amount of fire due to his fucking with the Doctor Who theme, a theme that's remained the same since 1963. To me changing a theme, unless you totally fuck it up, is no big deal but the folks across the pond have been hitting the roof for a while about it. Here's a side by side comparison, you tell me if it's a big deal.



Wow, listening to them side by side I'm starting to understand the hatred, the new one sounds like a DJ Tricky remix. Doctor Who isn't supposed to be danceable, that sucks. Anyway, the show kicks off at London's Wembley Stadium on October 8th.

FIRST IMAGES OF WALKING DEAD...AND VIDEO

Don't get too excited the only photo here is of one of the zombies and while that's cool and all it doesn't do much to let us know how the rest of the human cast looks. Seriously, view this zombie and tell me it looks any better or worse than any other zombie in any other zombie movie.




See what I mean, not exactly earth shattering news. More interesting is the video which has director Frank Darabont giving the low down on his inspiration for making the show. The first season is only six episodes but the first season of Breaking Bad was only seven and obviously those episodes hooked the country (even a cynical asshole like me). I like Darabont a lot and I love Walking Dead author Robert Kirkman who is also involved with the show so I'm amped for the premiere. Anyway, here's the video

The Superhero Thing Has Gotten Way Out Of Fucking Control

I was willing give The Cape a try, I even thought it looked kind of cool but this, this ABC horeshit show "No Ordinary People" is another clear example of how the wrong people are now in charge of creating sci-fi and Superhero shows and films. It's not bad enough that Michael "The Shitty Thing" Chiklis is in this incredibly obvious crap show but it's basically a rip off of the Incredibles and The Fantastic Four. Here watch the shitty trailer:



I hate everything

Trailer For The NBS Show THE CAPE.....And It Looks Kinda Good

Thus far, with the exception of a rare few all TV shows based on the idea of Superheroes have sucked. From the sixties Batman show, to Captain America, Birds Of Prey, Dark Angel, and the ever busted and god awful Heroes, it's all been a mess. With that in mind this new trailer for The Cape actually looks kind of good. Sure it'll be cheesy and it may fall flat but this at the very least looks promising. Oh and the retina burning Summer Glau is in it, hence the photo.

Plus the center of the fucking show isn't a goddamn cheerleader.

HAMLET--NERD STYLE!!

Tonight. At 8pm EST. On PBS. On Great Performances. It's Hamlet. Starring David Tennant as Hamlet and Patrick Stewart as Claudius. For those of you who love Doctor Who (as I do) and for those who love Star Trek The Next Generation, this could be the greatest nerd face off ever. Dig this little clip to wet the appetite.



NERD MOST FOUL!!

Trailer For The New SyFy Show PHANTOM

WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN? OH RIGHT, MONEY!!

Hey want to see something that sucks ass more than the name change to SYFY on that channel? Take a gander at the new trailer for their upcoming Phantom abortion. I have no inherent problem with SciFi (I hate the new name), hell I even enjoy their crappy movies and I dig Eureka and Warehouse 13. This show however looks like a large helping of cunt with a side order of fuck the fans. The Phantom is a hero that requires a setting, a pace, a certain type of storytelling and this sure as shit ain't it. Plus it's being done by RHI Entertainment who have thus far fucked up Farscape, Flash Gordon, Alice, Meteor and Tin Man. Quite a track record huh? Here's the trailer:

You Know What's Awesome About George Lucas....NOTHING!!!

I was busy sharpening a scalpel for the upcoming job of slicing the skin from my arm until my Star Wars tattoos are gone when I came across a little tidbit that made me want to just rip the flesh right off the bone. Remember a few weeks back when it came out that George "Fuck The Fans" Lucas had decided to make a kooky sitcom that no-talent hack Seth Green would be working on? Well apparently the fist fuckings don't stop there because this isn't some stupid animated show that is douche chilling because of what it is..oh no...Lucas has taken cunt down a whole new door by deciding it will take place right after Return Of The Jedi and include the original characters.

Besides the fact that this is another shitty shitty idea from a man who seems to corner the market with them, the whole fucking premise makes no sense. Anybody who can read and enjoys a good sci-fi romp already knows what happens to the characters post Jedi thanks to the fairly awesome series of books. Luke starts training Jedis, Han and Leia have twins who become Jedis, Chewbacca dies, there's more Empire drama with Grand Admiral Thrawn replacing Vader as the big bad, plus Wedge rocks a comeback in the series about saving Courescant, etc etc. These books have been coming out for 15 or 20 years and have established the entire story of what happens post Jedi, so why do a TV show that'll fuck with it?

Oh wait, I know why, of course, because it's George Lucas, that's why.

He's already totally fucked the original trilogy with the new ones and ruined any hope Darth Vader had of being a lasting villain (NOOOOOOO ring any bells?) so it makes sense he'd fuck the whole new lineage just to turn a buck. No idea who might voice these characters but I'm betting the original folks will return. Whatever bestiality photos Lucas has of Harrison Ford that keep him returning to make Indiana Jones movies will certainly force him to do a voice. Mark Hamil will work for food, Carrie Fisher can be talked into anything with a meat sandwich and a bottle of Schnapps and since Anthony Daniels is probably tired of turning tricks under a bridge for rent money he'll be on board to.

In other Lucas news the whole Star Wars saga will soon be out on Bluray which means we can watch them suck in super awesome clarity.

I hate everything