HIPSTERS RUIN EVERYTHING!!
Well I gotta say, it took less time for the hipsters of the world to ruin Where The Wild Things Are then I thought it would. Once I found out that Spike Jonze was going to direct the film version I knew the Hipster community would descend on it like a pack of Jackals. I don't blame Spike for this, he seems like a really genuine guy but between him directing and that fucking talentless hack bitch Wendy O doing the soundtrack Hipsters everywhere were rubbing themselves like Ecstasy addicts locked in a velvet room.
Above is an example of what I mean. Now all the shit cunt hipsters who never heard of the book but will attest to it being "one of their favorites" now can dress up like Max from the book for a mere $610. I fully expect to somebody like Drew Barrymore standing at the Bonaroo Festival dressed in one talking about how "Magical" everything is until somebody slams a cock in her mouth with enough cocaine on it to freeze her jaws shut. Even if the hipsters can't purchase these it just shows that the marketing campaign is aimed at these useless fools. I can just see some chick on the real world in footy Max pajamas drinking a latte and talking about life. That's when I show up with the razor dildo from Seven and start doling out revenge shredder cock style.
Hipsters: SUCK MY ASS IT SMELLS!!!
ALL I HEAR IS RADIO GAGA, RADIO BLAH BLAH!!
Here's Lady Gagwithpenis or Lady gotsadisease or whatever this "artists" name is walking through an airport trying not to be noticed. She accomplishes this goal by dressing like Andy Warhol's ugly wrestler brother post Tranny-OP...good plan. Can we kill this bitch, can we seriously just toss her in a ditch and leave her for dead?
She's the musical equivalent of Vanna White or the Pet Rock. She does nothing, serves no real purpose and yet people love her. She can save her Studio-54-meets-pop-dance stuff for Star Search where it belongs. GaGa should be grateful she's nailed the gay man dance party market or she'd still be offering up blowjobs to the restaurant manager in exchange for extra time off to "record" in her parents basement. The bloody Princess Diana thing on the MTV awards was a class act.
Lady GaGa: Suck My Ass It Smells.
KANYE GOES TO REHAB IN YET ANOTHER PLANNED CAREER MOVE.
What else can you say about Kanye West that hasn't been said since he manned up and snatched a great moment away from a 17 year old girl? I thought it was bad enough when he called the Jackson family and asked if he could start calling himself the King Of Pop but no, he beat my expectations. The best part about this is that he's a talentless hack, a fucking one trick pony that's running out of tricks. Outside of being as lame as white kids who wear baseball caps to the side Kanye has now shown he's such a cunt that even OJ would look at him and say "Dude you suck".
When the President of the United States says you're a jackass well, you've done yourself proud. Perhaps DC Comics can send one of those Black Lantern rings into the ground to raise your mom up so she can kick the shit out of you. I'll bet she's rolling in her grave anyway.
Kanye now says he's going to rehab because of an alcohol problem. WOW, how not manufactured is that? It's like Kayne whipped out the "Come Back From Being A Punchline" rock star manual and followed it step by step. I think his rehab should be sitting under 10 heat lamps all day and night and right when he's about to be given water somebody slaps it out of his hand and says "Imma let you finish..."
Kanye West: Suck My Ass It Smells
FRED DURST NOW A COMPLETE FAILURE AT EVERYTHING HE TRIES
So let's see, old Freddy Boy Durst tried to be more than a flash in the pan...failed. Tried to be a producer....failed. Tried to be a director....failed. Tried to bring Limp Bizkit back...failed. Tried to have a sex tape out there....failed. Now his three month or whatever marriage is over...failed.
Good for Fred, at least he's consistent. My personal favorite are all the people at MTV who worked there when I was there (are you listening Dave Sirlunick?) that kissed this losers ring and treated him like he mattered. I'll bet they're hiding their heads now and trying to pretend they always hated him. The next thing I hope Durst fails is and AIDS test.
JOHN AND KATE PLUS 8 NOW WITHOUT JOHN.
I'm not sure if you heard but apparently these two poster children for The Worst Parents Ever are getting divorced. I know, I know, I was shocked to. I'm looking for some coverage on it but I really can't find anything. Now because of the divorce the show will now kick John to the curb and be Kate Plus 8. In reaction to this John has filed papers to try and stop the divorce and "open up communication". Big talk from a guy nailing anything that said yes this summer.
My questions here is, do these two ego maniacs even know they have children? Has anybody on set introduced them to their kids and said "These are yours, you are responsible for them?" I doubt it because John and Kate don't act like they have kids, they act like they have accessories to the show. Does it bum them out that the kids aren't disassembled and put into a trunk until the next time they're needed on set? Seriously you fuckers, get it together.
These kids will grow up watching over and over their parents acting like squabbling teens outside the prom and get to watch dad be inside more woman than a Gynecologists rubber glove. Wow, that's great parenting, that's really first rate shit. John doesn't want to open up lines of communication or work things out for his children but because he might lose his gravy train. I understand. I mean how is he going to be able to squirt his black demon seed on 15 year old titties if they don't know who he is.
I'm waiting for the next show in twelve years called The 8 Kids On Rehab. Well done you two, seriously, kudos all around.
John & Kate: Suck My Ass It Smells
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