SUCK MY ASS IT SMELLS FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS: BAM MARGERA VS HARRY KNOWLES

LET THE FIGHT BEGIN:

The two men begin to circle each other, which is no small feat for Bam. Knowles is already out of breath from the 30 seconds of forward motion but the stink from Margera's shitty pants could have something to do with it. Margera, once he realized his "posse" wouldn't be there to fight his battles for him instantly shit himself and it's really hurt his mobility.

Margera has decided to use his ability at pompous grandstanding to keep Knowles off balance but it's met with the fierce self-importance shield that Knowles raises whenever his eyes open. Both men circle again with Knowles shouting "Harry Here" to an unsympathetic crowd.

Margera whips out one of his many signature skateboards that nobody bought and swings it at Knowles's giant head. It catches a natty twist of red curls but Knowles manages to counter by tossing one of his collection of 16mm prints right at the legs of Margera. Sadly Margera was busy lifting up his shirt to show the crowd his abs so the 16mm print caught him square in the back.

Margera rolls and counters with a brutal attack of eyeliner staining Knowles's already food-stained shirt even more. Knowles begins his own attack by uselessly prattling off all the famous people he knows or has met in an attempt to confuse Margera.

Margera, easily confused by shampoo directions, is caught off guard and tossed against the ropes. It's looking bad for this average skateboarder turned MTV sitcom star as his 15 minutes of fame seriously begin to run out. Margera isn't done yet, he still has his hidden gross of god-awful band T-shirts.

Knowles tries to counter the offense with a list of random movie facts nobody cares about but Margera's endless supply of HIM t-shirts knocks the fat man of movies onto his ass.

Margera senses the kill is near so he quickly paints Knowles's fingernails and then raises a boot to his face. Knowles tries to block but realizing he hasn't actually done anything but kiss ass drains his power and the boot tears through his skull. Margera has won.

The judges come out and make their decision. Placing Margera on his knees they put two bullets in the back of his skull and leave his lifeless body laying across the already decaying Knowles.

EVERYBODY WINS.

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK>