So a new CGI movie based on the epic Japanese cartoon Astro Boy will be making its way to theaters soon and having just seen the trailer I hate it hate hate hate it. As I'm sure you all know I'm not a big of Japanime or Manga but Astro Boy along with a few other choice selections (akira, Speed Racer etc) beat that dislike all to hell because it just kicked so much ass. The best I can do is show you. Here's the 1960s intro to Astro Boy (yes it is the English version)
Here's the Goddamn Fucking Trailer for the new one.
AND HERE ARE THE TOP TEN REASONS I HATE THE NEW ASTRO BOY
1. I hate that Dr. Tenma has been reduced to a saturday morning cartoon villain. In the original this guy built Astro Boy to replace his DEAD SON. How do you make him a joke?
2. Nic Cage is in it and that alone spells doom.
3. The original Osamu Tezuka look of Astro Boy has been shitted away for a more BOLT looking 3D CGI vibe. Problem there is that the LOOK of Astroboy was half of what made it so fucking cool.
4. The whole Military-as-enemy plot has ZILCH to do with the original Astro Boy and really, isn't this cliche a bit overused at this point?
5. Adding the "wacky wise cracking chick side kick" just to hawk the movie to a few more people sucks and yes I know Kristin Bell is smoking ridiculous hot but she's not in the movie except for her voice so NO points there.
6. The fact that he inherits a 'posse" of misfits sucks.
7. The kooky haha one liners that seem to pepper the film
8. The fact that alongside this, Godzilla, Speed Racer and G-Force we seem to have no issue with taking something from Japan and fucking it up. Next time why not just start the movie with a giant middle finger pointed at Japan?
9. "I have machine guns in my butt"
10. The fact that the big bad looks like the Iron Giant being molested by a Transformer.
So I won't be seeing the new Astro Boy and hopefully none of you will either.
I hate everything
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