HELLO PEASANTS, THIS IS YOUR GUIDING LIGHT CALLING YOU.
There was a day way back where it seemed like Gwynth Paltrow might be kind of cool. She seemed like that actress who could be hugely famous and still sit down and have a beer. Yeah, well, all that has flown out the fucking window and now she's just another catty cunt celebrity forgetting how lucky they have it as compared to the rest of us. She keeps throwing tantrums, being bitchy on the set of Iron Man II to the point that it's almost comical and then going on these tangents about how hard her life is. She even has that singer from Coldplay dropping his career to come play nursemaid to her bullshit. Here's a recent note from her highness to us peaons:
"As I write this, I am finishing the amazing three-week-long “Clean” detox program detailed below. Designed by New York cardiologist and detoxification specialist Dr. Alejandro Junger, this program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox. I followed it to the letter and I can report that it worked wonders. I feel pure and happy and much lighter (I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious “relax and enjoy life phase” about a month ago)."
WOW GP thanks for sharing such deep and incredible insights during your rough period. It's an inspiration to all us working stiffs how you can cleanse your body on a special program designed just for you after gaining weight during a "Relax And Enoy Life Phase"
RELAX AND ENJOY LIFE PHASE?
God I hate when celebrities say things like that, it's so insulting. Oh you're stressed and overworked? Well suck my ass it smells GP because we're all under that pressure only we don't get millions for our jobs nor do we vacation in exotic spots to try and recoup. Most of the world gets shit on and has to clean up and jump right back into the toilet.
I think I'd like to relax by grabbing a crowbar and enjoy life by beating you to death with it.
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