NEVE CAMPBELL RETURNS FOR SCREAM 4 AND WHO FUCKING CARES?

I'll admit it, back in the nineties I wanted to nail Neve Campbell just like any other guy in them days. For those who don't remember her Neve Campbell was like a Kristin Stewart for that era. They both are hot but not unapproachable, both have a one note acting style, both leave their mouths open even if they're not speaking and both starred in huge pop culture movies. Neve starred in Scream a series of horror movies that I blame for the downfall of modern horror.

See the Scream movies were about this killer dressed in all black with a "scream" mask based on the infamous painting. The problem was that it was an era where being self-referential and ironic was key to success and Scream got carried away. It became more about ripping off (excuse me paying homage) to other horror movies instead of doing anything interesting. If you look back at the awfulness of modern horror it traces back to the Scream movies.

The movies themselves got so ridiculously impossible to believe that by number three even the die hard fans were holding up a middle finger. Jump ahead to 2009 and the rush to reboot or remake or jump start anything that might turn a buck is all the rage. Apparently in that vein there will be a Scream 4, the start of a new trilogy.

OK seriously, why? Nobody gave a "screaming" fuck about these movies by the time they came to a close so how much money will really be made off jump starting it? Remaking classics like Halloween or Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a cunt fuck shitty thing to do but at least they have a legacy. The Scream movies were a t-shirt, a band with only one good song, the cinematic equivalent of the Pet Rock. Nobody cares, what audience are they going for?

I do love the fact that when the movie was made Neve Campbell was the "it" girl, Courtney Cox was the hottest thing ever due to Friends and David Arquette was seen as the new king of kooky Hollywood nuttiness. Neve went off the reservation long ago and since she never ended up selling blow jobs and weed to old fans I sort of lost touch with what she was up to. Courtney Cox strutted off the set of Friends like the cat that killed the canary and now she's stuck doing lame television like Cougar Town where she plays an old horny mother. Arquette can't even get arrested, I mean I wouldn't be surprised if he was working at a Hollywood Starbucks to make rent.

So with a talent pool like that who can say just how far the Scream movies could go.

I hate everything

WU TANG KILLER BEES....ON YOUR FEET?

I don't usually get all wet in the panties for sneakers, I was just never that guy. Sure I have a top ten list somewhere of my favorite kicks but for the most part I'd rather buy comics or records than spend crazy money on sneakers. Sometimes sneakers come along that I'd love to own and this is just such a time. These are the new Wu-Tang Killer Bee sneakers which kick ass. Mainly because the Wu Tang label isn't too prominent and these fuckers are YELLOW, which kicks ass. Dig on them yourself:





They are available at the Dekline stores for 69.99

WHAT IF DISNEY WENT DARK?

These are some incredibly cool posters of Disney Princess turned evil by an artist named Jeffrey Thomas you can check out his website HERE. Dig thess prints first:

AN ORAL HISTORY OF OVER THE EDGE --THE GREATEST TEEN MOVIE EVER MADE

I don't hand out compliments lightly but believe me when I say Over The Edge is the greatest teen movie ever made. Mainly because it was just pure teen rebellion, nobody really learned anything and the end wasn't a hug that brought the world together. The funniest part is that this many years later the SAME STUFF is happening only the violence is getting worse.

Over The Edge was the first movie role for Matt Dillon who joined an all unknown cast in 1979. The movie was only released for a month or so before being pulled under fear of rioting. It bounced around at art theaters and such before finally getting a DVD release in 2005. If you're unsure of the awesomeness check out the trailer:



To celebrate the majesty of Over The Edge the folks over at Vice Magazine have written a story titled "OVER THE EDGE: AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE GREATEST TEEN REBELLION MOVIE EVER"

Definitely check it out

FIRST LOOK AT SHANG-CHI MASTER OF KUNG FU

For those out there who don't know Shangi-Chi was a character Marvel Comics brought into existence during the Kung Fu craze of the seventies. Though often a peripheral character Shang Chi has always been a solid creation with a rich history. Every so often Marvel breathes new life into Shang by giving him a new book or series. The folks over at NEWSORAMA have supplied me with an awesome ten page sneak preview of the upcoming Shangi Chi book.

Check it out here HI-YAAAAH HERE

AND YOU THOUGHT GHOST RIDER FUCKING SUCKED ASS

So if you remember way back in the 90s before Superman Returns was even a thought the big Superman reboot featured Tim Burton directing with Kevin Smith writing. Now as horrible an idea as that is nothing could be as bad as Nicolas Cage playing Superman. Think I'm wrong? Dig this photo recently unearthed:



Nope this isn't a joke nor photoshop, this is a real test photo Tim Burton took. Looking at this is it any wonder this Superman project got derailed? I could just see Burton's vision:

Superman has grown tired of being a Superhero. Though everyone loves him he has become disenchanted with always saving the day. One night him and Krytpo are saving people from a forest fire when Superman discovers a door that leads to a magic world where Superhero's aren't necessary. Desperate to discover how to make that world his Superman attempts to bring this new world to Metropolis with disastrous results. While trying to make Metropolis a new place the three little demons from the phantom zone kidnap the president of the other world and bring him to the biggest oogey boogey in Metropolis LEX LUTHOR. Can Superman save the day?

Featured song: "Here Comes Superman" as sung to the tune of "Here Comes Halloween"

CSI-MIAMI SEASON PREMIERE

I don't know why I love the CSI shows but I do, I really love them. CSI is creepy and weird, CSI New York tries WAAAY too hard to be cool and CSI Miami is like Miami Vice with a better budget. I don't follow these shows like I do Supernatural or Fringe but I still love watching them as a way to decompress from everything else. The CSI Miami season premiere is the first of the CSI premieres and I have to say it was actually a lot of fun to watch. I guess part of it for me is that I don't really "care" about the characters so it's fun to watch them run around in their sun soaked world and solve crimes wearing clothes no state employee could possibly afford. I mean when you watch two hot women study a crime scene in designer pants and wedges, that's good times.

When last we saw Horatio "Sunglasses" Caine and his merry band of crime solvers it was a grim scene. Agent Eric Delko had been shot trying to help is ex-con dad escape and when the season premiere opens up he's laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. Is it me or do these producers always slap the shit out of Delko when they need drama? His sister was killed, he was shot in the head and now he's near death once again. I guess it's because everybody hates officer Ryan Wolfe so much and the producers have set Horatio up as superhuman. The interesting twist on the season premiere is that it's shot in two different time frames.

While the CSI agents look worried and do their best "heavy sigh" acting to show they feel bad about Delko the show jumps back twelve years to when Horatio Caine first arrived in Miami from New York. The show's been on for eight years so this takes us way back to before any of the crew even knew each other. Naturally there's a brutal murder and everybody believes one thing while Horatio believes another. The rest of the show jumps between Delko in the hospital and showing how the team got together.

Believe it or not there is some really interesting stuff in the flashback section of the show. Delko before he was a cop, Calleigh Duquesne as a bright eyed always smiling happy go lucky agent, Frank Tripp as a beat cop, etc. There is one silly moment where we first meet Natalie Boa Vista which I though unnecessary since they didn't try to sneak Ryan Wolfe in the flashbacks but whatever, it was still fun to watch. Nothing much happens in the "present day" section except Delko being sick but the "flashback" manages to go off the grid a little. Mainly it shows how nobody cared about forensic science in 1997 until Horatio showed up and used it to prove everybody wrong and convict the right man. At the end we hear mention of a guy named "Speed" as well as a tongue in cheek look at how Horatio got his trademark shades.

The CSI Miami season premiere was good fun, nothing incredibly deep or special, just a really good time at home on the couch. I'm sure Delko will be fine and within a few episodes it'll be back to killer-of-the-week stuff and I'll watch. For some reason the silliness of the show makes me love it and I still laugh to myself when Horatio makes some big statement and then slips on the shades.

Performance wise nobody does anything different. David Caruso still talks to everybody with his head bent to an angle, Delko still looks more like cheesecake than a cop, Calleigh bops around or looks "sad", etc etc. Stretching the parameters of "acting" isn't really what CSI is about so faulting it for shoddy acting just seems mean to me. If you're looking for deeper TV watch Law & Order but on those nights you want to veg check out CSI Miami.

FRINGE SEASON PREMIERE - MY REVIEW

First of all I'm sorry this is so late, life just grabbed both my testicles and screamed "EYES FRONT" and I had to listen. The ironic part in all of this is that when Fringe first started I would've never counted myself among its biggest fans. With the possible exception of Star Trek I've never been a huge supporter of JJ Abrams and the first five episodes of Fringe are some of the worst television ever committed to film. However somewhere around that sixth or seventh episode the show found its rhythm and continued to kick ass all year. It ended the first season with one of the most interesting cliffhangers in recent memory and I've been waiting for the premiere with baited breath.

Let's recap shall we? When we last left the Fringe Division of the FBI things were all wonky. Though they had stopped the madman trying to crossover into the "other" dimension agent Olivia Dunham was dealt a blow when she discovered our beloved Dr. Walter Bishop and the elusive William Bell had experimented on her and others like her when they were children. Fringe Division itself was in trouble as the "Pattern" became more widespread and the bizarre relationship between Fringe Division head agent Philip Broyles and Massive Dynamic head honcho Nina Sharp deepened. Then we had Dr. Bishop's son Peter and the sexual tension between him and Olivia as well as his constant desire to escape working for Fringe. The whole thing came to a head when Olivia found herself in another dimension at the top of a still standing World Trade Center.

I'm happy to report the season premiere opens up with a bang and never lets go. BANG, two cars crash in New york City. One of them has no driver, not one that got out or jumped but NO DRIVER at all. The second car's driver runs from the scene and proceeds to steal an identity in a way that says "Nope I'm not from around here". The first car with no driver is registered to one Olivia Dunham though she can't be located.

From there the season premiere picks up speed as Olivia returns from the other dimension in a most brutal way, we discover the other driver is actually there to kill Olivia and prevent her from having a "meeting", one Olivia can't remember at all. Agent Philip Broyles is told the Fringe Division will be shut down immediately for lack of results. Not to mention we still don't know what the hell is going on in Dimension Two with William Bell. Trust me the season premiere answers some questions but leaves plenty of others as well as giving a twist ending that kind of made me sad.

The one thing I continue to love about Fringe, which is the same thing that made me a die hard X-Files fan, is that I never know where it will go next or exactly how all the pieces fit together. This isn't like Lost which is so busy being secretive and "cool" that it's almost like an exclusive club only a few can join. Fringe manages to build on what we've learned in season one but not at the expense of people joining in for season two. We all get to watch pieces fall together at the same time which just makes for a better show I think.

Anna Torv seems more at ease playing Olivia Dunham and Joshua Jackson keeps his cringe-worthy snappy one liners to a minimum. John Noble continues to be brilliant as Dr. Walter Bishop as does Lance Reddick (one of the best things about the show The Wire) as Agent Philip Broyles. It's obviously too early to tell if season two will rise to the heights season one did but as far as premieres go it was definitely one of the best so far.

KILLING JOKE THE DEATH AND RESURRECTION SHOW TRAILER

I have nothing to say about this other than I worship Killing Joke and I wait for this film to be released with baited breath. ALL HAIL JAZ COLEMAN!!

THIS COULD ONE OF THE COOLEST BLOGS EVER

The blog is called COVERED and the idea is wicked simple. Artists from all over re-illustrate comic book covers in their own unique style. I know, I know it sounds boring but trust me it kicks much ass. Just check out the work here:

ORIGINAL



NEW PRINT



ORIGINAL



NEW PRINT



And that's just the beginning!! The blog also gives you the original artists names plus the new artists and how to check out their other work.

What are you waiting for go check out COVERED BLOG RIGHT NOW!!