Monday, June 22, 2009

THIS IS UTTERLY DISGUSTING EVEN FOR MICHAEL FUCKING BAY


THIS IS HOW BIG THE COTTON GROWS ON MY PLANTATION

Look I seriously could give two gutter shits about Transformers 2: The Beef Makes Cash For The Hack but after reading this juicy morsel of CUNT from somebody who saw the film I had to say something. Michael Bay's movies have always been stupid, badly acted, horribly written and directed with a real hack's sensibility, now they're fucking racist. Here's the quote

"There are two robots in the film called Mudflap and Skids, and despite being red and green, respectively, they are voiced in a way that clearly designates them to be the "black" robots. Also, Skids has a gold front tooth (no, I'm serious) and both cannot read."

Wow, I mean....WOW. The mind reels. What could Bay and his consortium of evil have been thinking. Did they not see George Lucas get into trouble by making the two greedy bad guys obviously stereotypically Japanese or how the underwater-Jamaican cries of Jar Jar sent reverberations of hate and loathing throughout the world? Based on this racist ideal here are some more Transformers I could see popping out:

JEWBUG: A tiny car that speaks in a thick Jewish accent and wears "glasses" like Woody Allen. He never comes to an adventure because he's too cheap to buy gas.

YELLOW BASTARD: A sleek, super hi-tech car that speaks in Japanese/English circa bad movies of the 1940s. He's a master of Transformers Kung Fu and can fix anything technological. When he transforms into a robot it sounds like the roar of Godzilla

BLACKBERRY: A female black sedan Decepticon who always plays club bangers from her radio and whenever she gets attacked screams "NO YOU DIDN'T"

LEXIHAD: A brown luxury jet that speaks only in Arabic and hates America. When he transforms the black bottom of the jet and the white top look like a turban and a beard giving him a "Osama Bin Laden" look. His arch nemesis are two huge Autobot Trailers called "The Towers". Lexihad is constantly trying to fly into both of them.

These new robots will be in the 3rd Transformers movie, TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE SOUTH



FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY, SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU.

i hate everything

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