Thursday, September 17, 2009

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE...ANIMATED CRISIS FROM DC



At this point DC has a perfect record for their animated work. Across the board they have managed to capture the spirit and legend of the characters they animate without fail. This fall DC is releasing Superman/Batman:Public Enemies and I'm fucking salivating for it. Today a few images (the one above for instance) were released from the next DC Animated film titled Crisis On Two Worlds. Here's the plot and voice talent for the movie.

In Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, a “good” Lex Luthor arrives from an alternate universe to recruit the Justice League to help save his Earth from the Crime Syndicate, a gang of villainous characters with virtually identical super powers to the Justice League. What ensues is the ultimate battle of good versus evil in a war that threatens both planets and, through a diabolical plan launched by Owlman, puts the balance of all existence in peril.

All-star voice cast led by Mark Harmon as Superman, James Woods as Owlman, Chris Noth as Lex Luthor, William Baldwin as Batman,Gina Torres as Super Woman and Bruce Davison
as the President.

While it sounds cool (and like a Grant Morrison story) I'm a little wary of this one. It's the same feeling I had when I saw the Pixar trailer for Cars, like this was going to be the first chink in the armor. Perhaps it's that I'm fucking OVER the multiple-worlds angle or maybe I'm just feeling burned by the flaming shitpile that was Final Crisis. Whatever it is I'm nervous about this one, I hope I'm wrong. Sadly I have to wait until 2010 to find out.

Oh yeah and here's a shot of Owlman (one of the bad guys from the other world)

HUNTERS S THOMPSON WAS FUCKING PISSED!!



Anybody who reads this site (and I thank both of you) knows I'm obsessed with Hunter S Thompson. Well apparently the good Doctor got his gut full of Holly Sorenson from the Shooting Gallery movie company. Sorenson was apparently guilty of dragging her feet on the film version of The Rum Diaries. The Rum Diaries are significant not only because of how great the book is but also it's one of the few works of pure fiction Thompson ever put out. Here's the original note:




Here's the transcript of that letter

Holly Sorenson / Shooting Gallery / Hollywood / Jan 22 '01

Dear Holly,

Okay, you lazy bitch, I'm getting tired of this waterhead fuckaround that you're doing with The Rum Diary.

We are not even spinning our wheels aggresivly. It's like the whole Project got turned over to Zombies who live in cardboard boxes under the Hollywood Freeway... I seem to be the only person who's doing anything about getting this movie Made. I have rounded up Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Brad Pitt, Nick Nolte & a fine screenwriter from England, named Michael Thomas, who is a very smart boy & has so far been a pleasure to talk to & conspire with...

So there's yr. fucking Script & all you have to do now is act like a Professional & Pay him. What the hell do you think Making a Movie is all about? Nobody needs to hear any more of that Gibberish about yr. New Mercedes & yr. Ski Trips & how Hopelessly Broke the Shooting Gallery is.... If you're that fucking Poor you should get out of the Movie Business. It is no place for Amateurs & Dilletants who don't want to do anything but "take lunch" & Waste serious people's Time.

Fuck this. We have a good writer, we have the main parts casted & we have a very marketable movie that will not even be hard to make....

And all you are is a goddamn Bystander, making stupid suggestions & jabbering now & then like some half-bright Kid with No Money & No Energy & no focus except on yr. own tits.... I'm sick of hearing about Cuba & Japs & yr. Yo-yo partners who want to change the story because the violence makes them Queasy.

Shit on them. I'd much rather deal with a Live asshole than a Dead worm with No Light in his Eyes.... If you people don't want to Do Anything with this movie, just cough up the Option & I'll talk to someone else. The only thing You're going to get by quitting and curling up in a Fetal position is relentless Grief and Embarrassment. And the one thing you won't have is Fun...

Okay, That's my Outburst for today. Let's hope that it gets Somebody off the dime. And if you don't Do Something QUICK you're going to Destroy a very good idea. I'm in the mood to chop yr. fucking hands off.

R.S.V.P

(Signed)

HUNTER

cc:
Depp
Benecio
M. Thomas
Nolte
Shapiro


I'd give this a BAD for BAD ASS!! Thanks to LETTERS OF NOTE for the tip.

WENCH ANOTHER FLAGGON OF...SODA? D&D STYLE



I'm not afraid to throw down the Gauntlet, I was a big D&D guy back in the day. I sat around a crowded table with my friends, I designed characters at lunch while the other kids talked about the big dance, I even used to have a 10 sided dice wallet chain because that's how I ROLL!!

Now I can sit on the porch with my Batman afghan over my legs in a rocking chair painted to look like Conan's throne and grow old sipping on the old days. Jonas Sodas have unlocked the greatness of the D&D soda in these awesome and necessary flavors.

• Potion of Healing
• Sneak Attack
• Bigby's Crushing Thirst Destroyer
• Dwarven Draught
• Eldritch Blast
• Illithid Brain Juice

If you want to buy a 6 pack or case (which I already have) then go to JONAS SODAS right now!! You also get a Drow Assassin figurine while supplies last!!

I would give this a GOOD

MARVEL ZOMBIES



Whoever it is that had the time and full on kick ass idea to re-make these cartoon themes for the world of Marvel Zombies is somebody I'd like to have a cup of coffee with and simply marvel (no pun intended) at their awesomeness. Thanks to Topless Robot for the hook up.




LOVECRAFT COLOGNE & OILS: SMELL LIKE YOUR FAVORITE OLD ONE



Sometimes pop culture makes me sick and then sometimes I just have to love the day and age we live in. This website (find it HERE)actually sells this stuff and I'll be hell fucked if I don't want all of them. NOTHING brings out the pussy like smelling of a world dominating ancient evil!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

WEDNESDAY TOP TEN: 10 MOST ACCIDENTALLY INAPPROPRIATE COMIC BOOK ART


VELCOME, VELCOME TO THA VENDESDAY TOP TEN! AH AH AH!!

Nothing planned can ever be as funny as that which comes about randomly. None of these artists meant for these comic panels or covers to be so inappropriate and hysterical but holy shit are they. So, with no further ado here are the top ten.


10.





9.




8. (I didn't photoshop this, it's an actual comic)





7.




6.




5. (Just look at this photo without reading it....chilling)





4.




3.




2.




1.

ADVENTURELAND - MY REVIEW



Adventureland is a great example of lots of great parts that don't work well together. Individually most of the scenes in Adventureland are charming, funny and well acted. However when put together the scenes don't work well enough to make a cohesive story or sustain the movie until the end. Characters that could have really complex and layered end up simply being there to move the film from one scene to the next.

This film is also a jumble of mistakes and bad decisions. I don't know if director Greg Mottola's success with Superbad went to his head or if he was too close to his own script but the problems with Adventureland are obvious when watching it so I'd think they would have been extremely obvious during the production.

Even the context of the characters is just off enough to take you out of the film. The movie is supposed to be post college but everyone in it looks and acts like they're in high school. It begins to feel like the original script was for a high school movie but the studio figured all the sex and drugs would upset people so it was changed to post college.

Adventureland tells the tale of Jesse Eisenberg (James Brennan) a young man who has planned every last detail of his life. Suddenly that life is thrown into turmoil when family financial issues threaten his Graduate School aspirations. Forced to come up with tuition money on his own Jesse takes a summer job at Adventureland, a broken down amusement park filled with all types of wacky characters. The summer of course ends up being the "summer of his life".

The first problem with the film is actor James Brennan who doesn't so much play Jesse Eisenberg as he does mimic actor Michael Cera (Cera was ironically the star of Mottola's Superbad). Brennan does such a great job of channeling Cera that I honestly thought it was the same actor for the first third. Then there's Ryan Reynolds who plays a scummy mechanic at the park for no real reason other than to be the bad guy when the script calls for it. He literally has nothing to do with the movie other than to be a catalyst for various things to happen to other characters.

Kristin Stewart does little more than her usual open-mouth-look-bored acting job and look really good in jean cut offs. Stewart usually looks like she's bored or irritated in every movie she's in but with Adventureland it's like she's not even there. The rest of the characters are unremarkable, almost cliche.

The ultra smart, sarcastic sad friend, the loud obnoxious comic relief, the ultra hot stupid girl who walks in to be a threat to a budding romance and then walks back out again. With the exception of the always great Bill Hader every character in this movie serves only to move the scenes along, that's it.

I was also confused why the movie was set in the 80s since it never really plays any part in the movie. Setting a film in the past only works when the era is an important backdrop to the movie. With Adventureland it feels like the only reason was so Mottola could pad the soundtrack with his favorite songs. Even small details such as Ryan Reynolds wardrobe or James Brennan's interactions with other actors, feel entirely too modern.

There are some great moments in Adventureland but nothing ever really catches on and midway through the movie boredom sets in. By the time the obvious conclusion plays out any vested interest you had at the start has long since drained away. With Superbad being so good and Adventureland being so blah the one thing this movie has proved is that Greg Mottola should focus on directing and leave the writing to somebody else.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

THE HORRORS OF SMOOTH JAZZ AT THE OFFICE

An animator named Mike Stern directed this little gem. One of my favorite animated shorts of recent memory.

PATRICK SWAYZE



I'll be the first to admit it, I thought Patrick Swayze was cheesy. I never considered him a great actor nor did I love that many of his films. What I did like about Swayze was that he always seemed like a good guy, like a guy who could laugh at himself and never got a shitty Hollywood attitude. He remained with the same woman for 35 years, he was always respectful and seemed truly thankful to be able to make a living as an actor. I watch these "Young Hollywood" shitheels and think it's sad that there aren't more Patrick Swayze's in the Hollywood.

There were some Swayze films I liked a lot. Roadhouse was awesome, Point Break was great, I even dug Ghost except I hated Demi Moore in it. Then of course there was Outsiders and Red Dawn, which kicked major ass. Whatever his acting "skill" was Swayze just seemed like the kind of guy you wanted to hang out with. He had no problem making fun of his sex symbol stuff or even making fun of some of his early films roles (Pigs Vs Freaks anybody?).

When Swayze got cancer he was very open and honest and put on not a fake brave front but one that was totally genuine. It was very much "This sucks and I want to beat it but if I can't, what an awesome life I've had". How can you not dig a guy like that? It's a shame he passed away when so many other deserve to die. Of course, he'd hate to hear me say that.

JIM CARROLL DIES



This past week poet and author Jim Carroll died of a heart attack in New York City. For most people Carroll became known after the 1995 movie The Basketball Diaries which was not a great movie nor a great representation of his book. Carroll was considered by many to be a "punk poet" who ventured into the world of music in 1980 with the album Catholic Boy. The album gave the band their one hit titled "People Who Died".

I guess people automatically think that if you're pissed off or lived in NYC or love punk rock that you're a disciple of Carroll's work. I've been asked a lot to write some words about my feelings on his death and to be honest I'm kind of at a loss. I respected Carroll as I respect anybody who is obviously a critical thinker and their own person but I had no great love for his works. The Basketball Diaries was an enjoyable read but it didn't change my life or get me to sign up as a fan. I've read Forced Entries which I enjoyed more than The Basketball Diaries as well as most of his poems. Obviously the man could write but I just never got why people fell all over themselves for Carroll.

I think part of it is the allure of the New York City scene which for those of us who didn't grow up in it can become as mystical and mythical as Oz. Alcohol soaked drug stories don't impress me, I've had too many friends dealing with drug problems for me to let myself get romantic about it. I also found Carroll's diatribe about Kurt Cobain self-serving and awfully condescending.

Musically I just didn't get the hoopla at all. It was decent enough bar music but that was about it. I find people tend to allow for more when somebody perceived as anti-establishment does something. In other words if people saw The Jim Carroll Band and Carroll had been some guy from downtown I don't think the love would have been quite as enormous for it.

So am I sad that Carroll has passed away, yes because as we lose poets and free thinkers they're replaced by Mall Culture and a generation in love with being part of the machine. Do I find Carroll to be up there with some of the great writers he's set alongside? No, not at all. I'm sure people will call me a "hater" or jealous because these days anybody with an opinion that differs from the masses is called one of those things.

I will say this, I wish it had been Kanye West dead and not Carroll.