JONAH HEX PHOTOS - WHY THEY MAKE ME NERVOUS

So these two photos have been making the rounds and while most nerds can't stop slapping their cocks over them, I'm not that excited. I'm a big Jonah Hex fan, have been since I was a kid. From Weird Western Tales to his own book and even the ill conceived but fun-to-read Hex series that put him in space in the future, I was always on board. He was like The Punisher but cooler because he didn't have super training for incredible weapons, Hex was just pure badass.

The stories were also incredibly dark and sinister with Hex being horribly deformed as well as cold blooded killer. Sure he had a code he lived by but it was a twisted and fucked up thing you could rarely figure out. When it was announced that the cultural vampires in Hollywood were focused on bringing Hex to the screen I was instantly nervous.

Unlike Iron Man or Hulk or Dark Knight, Hex isn't really a hero you root for. You may agree with what he's doing but it's never for heroic reasons. Hex does what he wants when he wants and nobody can even touch him. That's what makes the stories so interesting and him such an iconic character.

I really like Josh Brolin as an actor so I was amped when it was announced he would be playing Hex. However the arrival of these photos bums me out mainly because it looks like Hollywood will be sticking to Script Writing 101 which will not work for Jonah Hex.

Script Writing 101 has a few very steadfast rules that you can't break from if you want your script greenlit. Here are the basics.

1. Your main character can't be completely unlikable

2. There must be romantic involvement no matter how slight

3. The main character must have gone through a journey and changed in some way by the end of the movie.

If you take those 3 rules and apply them to movies you'll see that they almost always are involved in the skeleton of a film script. I think it's a preposterous set of rules and it's why we see a lot of forced romantic scenes in movies that don't need them, or sudden likable elements in a largely unlikable character and then the worst the ending that makes no sense except to show the main character has grown in some way.

What has me thinking these rules will apply to Hex are two fold. First of all the make up for Jonah Hex isn't awful enough, he still has some kind of "handsome" features and there's enough face left to make us remember this is Josh Brolin. That immediately takes away from Hex who is so goddamn ugly in the books people can't even look at him.

Then there's the casting of Megan Fox, who can't act and does nothing more than look good. She's too pretty for that era and casting her means there will be some kind of romantic or sexual tension between her and Brolin. That doesn't work, Hex doesn't involve himself with women in that way. I also worry that because he looks softer and co-stars with Megan Fox that the script will have him start as a bad guy but with a good heart and then end up him doing the right thing and blah blah blah.

If they do that then they're making The Adventures Of Deformed Cowboy Guy...not Jonah Hex.

I could be wrong, so far I'm about 95% when I call these things.

DAVID EDDINGS AND DAVID CARRADINE PASS AWAY

Some sad news in the world of Hollywood and Fiction as author David Eddings and actor David Carradine have both passed away. Eddings apparently of natural causes at the age of 77 while Carradine's death was apparently self-inflicted.

Eddings was best known for his five-part Belgariad and Mallorean sagas. These fantasy books have a devout following and a love that was so strong I often felt bad about missing out on them.

Carradine was found hanging in a closet in Bangkok, Thailand with nylon rope used from the hotel curtains. Carradine was best known for the Kung Fu TV series as well as his role as Bill in Kill Bill. I never really enjoyed Kung Fu and I hated Kill Bill (more because the movie sucked than Carradine) but I loved his portrayal of Woodie Guthrie in "Bound For Glory" as well as his character in Martin Scorsese first film Box Car Bertha.

At this point nothing more is known on Carradine's death though many of his close friends say that suicide was not something Carradine would ever do and that his career was really picking up steam at this point. He was in Thailand to film a movie titled Stretch (no jokes please).

7 REASONS THE ECONOMY SHIT THE BED

Author of "Bailout Nation" Barry Ritholtz has shed some light on a truth I think we all knew deep down, that the economic breakdown on our planet was not an "accident". The media and past and current administrations have tried to pretend that the economic collapse was a "perfect storm" or a sudden convergence of circumstances nobody could have seen coming. Well according to the author and this chart the suffering being felt by working families world wide and the debt we're going in to save companies who did this to themselves was a result of specific programs and policies. Check out the chart to get a better idea of what Ritholtz is talking about.



CLICK TO SEE BIGGER VERSION



I have an interesting view point on the economic collapse that few share with me. While I wish working folks (myself included) were not being subjected to the panic inducing changes that seem to never end in the current economy it has actually given me some peace. I have watched greedy corporations headed by greedy people wreak havoc across the world for years as others have before me. We as a people have no real degree of compassion or caring for our fellow man, not on the scale we need to survive as a species.

Once Obama was elected I then watched as lies about the economy turned to finger pointing. The Democrats keeps using the "see what you guys did" attack and the Republicans have shown that they simply see themselves as the ruling class. They don't care at all about the plight of human suffering they're just pissed they aren't on top anymore because...well...they are the Kings and Queens, they are the ones who were born to rule. How dare we common peasants try to take back the Government "by the people and for the people"?

To make their ideas known Republicans have reduced their party to temper tantrums and completely illogical attempts to show up Obama and strike fear in the hearts of already terrified Americans. All of this gives me peace because I realize now that we are no longer supposed to be here, that the end of our species is not only our own fault but necessary to wipe out a blight on the face of Mother Nature.

We have less of an ability to socialize and prioritize than apes do, so why should we be the top of the food chain simply because we can make things that go BOOM and further even more destruction?

SAD NEWS FROM A MUSICAL ICON

STATEMENT FROM EXENE CERVENKA OF X:


After some months of not feeling 100% healthy, I recently had some medical tests run and the prognosis is that I am suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. Apparently, it has been affecting me for quite some time.

Although this is obviously unfortunate news, I am choosing to see the positive in it. I, and X as a band, have supported the Sweet Relief charity since the mid-1990’s; the irony of this is not lost on any of us. Sweet Relief was started as an aide to uninsured artists by musician Victoria Williams when she herself was diagnosed with MS in 1992.

While this diagnosis will most certainly mean some changes for me, personally, it will not affect my commitments to the current X U.S. tour, nor will it affect my solo album that is slated for release this fall on Bloodshot Records.

My focus will certainly be on maintaining my health--many people remain strong and continue to live their lives as productively as they had before an MS diagnosis and I plan to be one of those people.


To find out more about Sweet Relief please visit: www.sweetrelief.org

To find out more about X please visit: www.xtheband.com


I just got this email and I'm wicked bummed about it. I love the band X and I've always loved Exene Cervenka's vocal style. I wish her all the best and my most positive thoughts go out to her.

TOP TEN LIES TOLD TO ALL OF US

We all get lied to, pretty much every day by everybody. From the tiny white lies to save a person's feelings to the giant ones to make sure we stay out of trouble, lies are almost as important as rationalizations in keeping people sane. However as I get older the lies get harder to believe and my ability to fight the quicksand of being jaded I sink further and further. It's with that noble idea I present the Top Ten Lies Told To All Of Us. These aren't in any real order since they all kind of suck.

1. It's What's On The Inside That Counts: Along with "Beauty Is Skin Deep" this is one of the biggest lies ever told. I think our society has largely proven that the only thing anybody focuses on is what you look like. I don't seem to recall many "Awesome Personality" magazines out there or People doing the "Top Ten Hottest Beach Sweethearts" section. People who are good looking, be they scum of the Earth or not, pretty much get everything handed to them. Look at most of the really attractive actors and actresses who suck but continue to get work. Megan Fox anybody?


2. Government By The People, For The People: Yeah I think we all know what a crock of shit this is. Our Government was bought and paid for a long time ago by Corporations and foreign interests. Want proof? Look at where we are now, look at all the hardship going around to working people, families and plain old normal folks. Government isn't doing anything but playing politics and bailing out industries. Lobbyists, special interest groups and plain old greed burned down, demolished and soiled over any basic ideas of what our Government once stood for long ago.

3. America Was Built On Freedom Of Speech: Hmmm, really? You honestly believe that? Then try and stand in a public square and talk about pedophilia or being a proud racist. You'll be beaten down within minutes or at least have people throwing things at you. People only believe in Freedom Of Speech as long as it doesn't bother or inconvenience them, then they hate it.

I don't agree with what the above would say but I wouldn't shoot them for saying it. Try giving a different opinion in a grocery store about how our Government helped move along what resulted in 9/11, I hope you can box. Plus if you think our Government hasn't tried to shut down, vanish or make life difficult for the outspoken who garner a real following, you're fooling yourself.

4. Money Can't Buy Happiness: Only said by people with money and besides even if it can't buy happiness it can make an unhappy life way less difficult. I don't see too many people barely able to feed and clothe themselves sprouting this fortune cookie bullshit. Walk up to somebody from GM and say "Hey well, money can't buy happiness" and wait to see how long you keep your front teeth.

5. Love Will Conquer All: Yeah, sorry hippies that just ain't how it is. Live long enough on this hell planet and you'll learn that Love Ain't Enough is usually how it works out. Try expressing your love when the rent is due or somebody is going to jack you for your cash or a guy walks into a building with explosives tied to his chest. See how long "Love" wins out then.

6. Money Is The Root Of All Evil: No, PEOPLE are the root of all evil. You let money sit there and it does nothing but maybe blow around. Money never whispered into anybody's ear to kill people or sell millions down the river for profit. WE are the root of all evil, it's just easier to shine the spotlight on money.

7. Workers Rights: Workers have the right to bust their asses for shit pay and then get laid off after the mistakes of the bosses screw things up so badly the company is fucked. Workers have the right to leave their fate in the hands of corrupt Union Heads and to be shouldered with every tax burden imaginable when the Government overspends and is staring down the double barrel shotgun of deficit.

8. God Is All Forgiving: Then explain Hell to me?

9. Karma: Karma is not just a lie but a really stupid ideology that tries to explain coincidence and bad luck. Bad things happen to good people all the time and really awful bottom feeding humans get lucky breaks constantly. There is no great energy loop that evens things out, it just doesn't work that way. If it did all those who exploit the weak to make a profit would be dead or broke or something. They're not and to say Karma Takes Awhile is just spreading the blinders to encompass your whole head

10. You Vote Counts: Do I even need to express how stupid this idea is. My vote didn't count when Bush ran and if you really look at Government most laws, taxes and other such things are handled without the voters at all. Plus usually once you vote a guy in office he works for himself, not you.

OK, enough sunshine from me, I'm off to get an iced coffee.

PREVIEW FOR SKAAR SON OF HULK #11

For those of you who aren't reading Skaar: Son Of Hulk (you're missing out) here is a little preview that might wet your appetite for buying some back issues. Essentially Skaar started out at Conan In Space and it kicked a lot of ass. Now massively talented comic scribe Greg Pak has focused on a new adventure for Skaar. He's here on Earth and out to throw down with daddy!!

Check out the preview: SKAAR SON OF HULK #11

AC/DC & METALLICA KICKS

One of the worst things about getting old is that you can't do the things you once could. My flat ass old man feet can't hold strong when wearing skate shoes so I'll have to miss out on these even though I'd love the AC/DC ones. Metallica wise I can't be part of anything that lines Uber Douche Lars Ulrich's pockets, plus I was never a pushead fan...yeah I know, fucking sue me. So here are the rest of the Metallica and AC/DC sneakers for you to dig on.

THE OCEAN'S 11 I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE ENJOYED

NEED TO THROW UP TO FEEL BETTER--THIS IS BETTER THAN IPECAC

I have a theory that if you like either the Twilight books or the films, man or woman, that deep down you are really a 16 year old girl. Apparently in this sequel not only do you have to be a European Underwear Model to be a Vampire but a Werewolf to. Watch this trailer near a vomit bag or open toilet.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

i hate everything

MICHAEL MOORE BIDS GOODBYE TO GM

I'll be the first to admit that Michael Moore is not the great savior of the working class he purports to be. His movies are informative and based in more truth than anything the Repbulicans have done in the last 20 years but they still cross that fragile line between documentary and propaganda. That being said he always makes intelligent and thought out points and his love for American is obvious. People who say he is a trader because he refuses to simply lay down and accept what he's being spoon fed by the media and Government as truth is pure ignorance.

He may talk too much, his opinions may be not as unbiased as say Noam Chomsky and I think the truth comes more from adding his side with the conservatives side and then dividing by two. That being said I was really moved and fascinated by this letter he wrote about the end of GM. Check it out:


June 1, 2009

I write this on the morning of the end of the once-mighty General Motors. By high noon, the President of the United States will have made it official: General Motors, as we know it, has been totaled.

As I sit here in GM's birthplace, Flint, Michigan, I am surrounded by friends and family who are filled with anxiety about what will happen to them and to the town. Forty percent of the homes and businesses in the city have been abandoned. Imagine what it would be like if you lived in a city where almost every other house is empty. What would be your state of mind?

It is with sad irony that the company which invented "planned obsolescence" -- the decision to build cars that would fall apart after a few years so that the customer would then have to buy a new one -- has now made itself obsolete. It refused to build automobiles that the public wanted, cars that got great gas mileage, were as safe as they could be, and were exceedingly comfortable to drive. Oh -- and that wouldn't start falling apart after two years. GM stubbornly fought environmental and safety regulations. Its executives arrogantly ignored the "inferior" Japanese and German cars, cars which would become the gold standard for automobile buyers. And it was hell-bent on punishing its unionized workforce, lopping off thousands of workers for no good reason other than to "improve" the short-term bottom line of the corporation. Beginning in the 1980s, when GM was posting record profits, it moved countless jobs to Mexico and elsewhere, thus destroying the lives of tens of thousands of hard-working Americans. The glaring stupidity of this policy was that, when they eliminated the income of so many middle class families, who did they think was going to be able to afford to buy their cars? History will record this blunder in the same way it now writes about the French building the Maginot Line or how the Romans cluelessly poisoned their own water system with lethal lead in its pipes.

So here we are at the deathbed of General Motors. The company's body not yet cold, and I find myself filled with -- dare I say it -- joy. It is not the joy of revenge against a corporation that ruined my hometown and brought misery, divorce, alcoholism, homelessness, physical and mental debilitation, and drug addiction to the people I grew up with. Nor do I, obviously, claim any joy in knowing that 21,000 more GM workers will be told that they, too, are without a job.

But you and I and the rest of America now own a car company! I know, I know -- who on earth wants to run a car company? Who among us wants $50 billion of our tax dollars thrown down the rat hole of still trying to save GM? Let's be clear about this: The only way to save GM is to kill GM. Saving our precious industrial infrastructure, though, is another matter and must be a top priority. If we allow the shutting down and tearing down of our auto plants, we will sorely wish we still had them when we realize that those factories could have built the alternative energy systems we now desperately need. And when we realize that the best way to transport ourselves is on light rail and bullet trains and cleaner buses, how will we do this if we've allowed our industrial capacity and its skilled workforce to disappear?

Thus, as GM is "reorganized" by the federal government and the bankruptcy court, here is the plan I am asking President Obama to implement for the good of the workers, the GM communities, and the nation as a whole. Twenty years ago when I made "Roger & Me," I tried to warn people about what was ahead for General Motors. Had the power structure and the punditocracy listened, maybe much of this could have been avoided. Based on my track record, I request an honest and sincere consideration of the following suggestions:

1. Just as President Roosevelt did after the attack on Pearl Harbor, the President must tell the nation that we are at war and we must immediately convert our auto factories to factories that build mass transit vehicles and alternative energy devices. Within months in Flint in 1942, GM halted all car production and immediately used the assembly lines to build planes, tanks and machine guns. The conversion took no time at all. Everyone pitched in. The fascists were defeated.

We are now in a different kind of war -- a war that we have conducted against the ecosystem and has been conducted by our very own corporate leaders. This current war has two fronts. One is headquartered in Detroit. The products built in the factories of GM, Ford and Chrysler are some of the greatest weapons of mass destruction responsible for global warming and the melting of our polar icecaps. The things we call "cars" may have been fun to drive, but they are like a million daggers into the heart of Mother Nature. To continue to build them would only lead to the ruin of our species and much of the planet.

The other front in this war is being waged by the oil companies against you and me. They are committed to fleecing us whenever they can, and they have been reckless stewards of the finite amount of oil that is located under the surface of the earth. They know they are sucking it bone dry. And like the lumber tycoons of the early 20th century who didn't give a damn about future generations as they tore down every forest they could get their hands on, these oil barons are not telling the public what they know to be true -- that there are only a few more decades of useable oil on this planet. And as the end days of oil approach us, get ready for some very desperate people willing to kill and be killed just to get their hands on a gallon can of gasoline.

President Obama, now that he has taken control of GM, needs to convert the factories to new and needed uses immediately.

2. Don't put another $30 billion into the coffers of GM to build cars. Instead, use that money to keep the current workforce -- and most of those who have been laid off -- employed so that they can build the new modes of 21st century transportation. Let them start the conversion work now.

3. Announce that we will have bullet trains criss-crossing this country in the next five years. Japan is celebrating the 45th anniversary of its first bullet train this year. Now they have dozens of them. Average speed: 165 mph. Average time a train is late: under 30 seconds. They have had these high speed trains for nearly five decades -- and we don't even have one! The fact that the technology already exists for us to go from New York to L.A. in 17 hours by train, and that we haven't used it, is criminal. Let's hire the unemployed to build the new high speed lines all over the country. Chicago to Detroit in less than two hours. Miami to DC in under 7 hours. Denver to Dallas in five and a half. This can be done and done now.

4. Initiate a program to put light rail mass transit lines in all our large and medium-sized cities. Build those trains in the GM factories. And hire local people everywhere to install and run this system.

5. For people in rural areas not served by the train lines, have the GM plants produce energy efficient clean buses.

6. For the time being, have some factories build hybrid or all-electric cars (and batteries). It will take a few years for people to get used to the new ways to transport ourselves, so if we're going to have automobiles, let's have kinder, gentler ones. We can be building these next month (do not believe anyone who tells you it will take years to retool the factories -- that simply isn't true).

7. Transform some of the empty GM factories to facilities that build windmills, solar panels and other means of alternate forms of energy. We need tens of millions of solar panels right now. And there is an eager and skilled workforce who can build them.

8. Provide tax incentives for those who travel by hybrid car or bus or train. Also, credits for those who convert their home to alternative energy.

9. To help pay for this, impose a two-dollar tax on every gallon of gasoline. This will get people to switch to more energy saving cars or to use the new rail lines and rail cars the former autoworkers have built for them.

Well, that's a start. Please, please, please don't save GM so that a smaller version of it will simply do nothing more than build Chevys or Cadillacs. This is not a long-term solution. Don't throw bad money into a company whose tailpipe is malfunctioning, causing a strange odor to fill the car.

100 years ago this year, the founders of General Motors convinced the world to give up their horses and saddles and buggy whips to try a new form of transportation. Now it is time for us to say goodbye to the internal combustion engine. It seemed to serve us well for so long. We enjoyed the car hops at the A&W. We made out in the front -- and the back -- seat. We watched movies on large outdoor screens, went to the races at NASCAR tracks across the country, and saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time through the window down Hwy. 1. And now it's over. It's a new day and a new century. The President -- and the UAW -- must seize this moment and create a big batch of lemonade from this very sour and sad lemon.

Yesterday, the last surviving person from the Titanic disaster passed away. She escaped certain death that night and went on to live another 97 years.

So can we survive our own Titanic in all the Flint Michigans of this country. 60% of GM is ours. I think we can do a better job.

Yours,
Michael Moore