Friday, September 25, 2009


I'll admit it, back in the nineties I wanted to nail Neve Campbell just like any other guy in them days. For those who don't remember her Neve Campbell was like a Kristin Stewart for that era. They both are hot but not unapproachable, both have a one note acting style, both leave their mouths open even if they're not speaking and both starred in huge pop culture movies. Neve starred in Scream a series of horror movies that I blame for the downfall of modern horror.

See the Scream movies were about this killer dressed in all black with a "scream" mask based on the infamous painting. The problem was that it was an era where being self-referential and ironic was key to success and Scream got carried away. It became more about ripping off (excuse me paying homage) to other horror movies instead of doing anything interesting. If you look back at the awfulness of modern horror it traces back to the Scream movies.

The movies themselves got so ridiculously impossible to believe that by number three even the die hard fans were holding up a middle finger. Jump ahead to 2009 and the rush to reboot or remake or jump start anything that might turn a buck is all the rage. Apparently in that vein there will be a Scream 4, the start of a new trilogy.

OK seriously, why? Nobody gave a "screaming" fuck about these movies by the time they came to a close so how much money will really be made off jump starting it? Remaking classics like Halloween or Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a cunt fuck shitty thing to do but at least they have a legacy. The Scream movies were a t-shirt, a band with only one good song, the cinematic equivalent of the Pet Rock. Nobody cares, what audience are they going for?

I do love the fact that when the movie was made Neve Campbell was the "it" girl, Courtney Cox was the hottest thing ever due to Friends and David Arquette was seen as the new king of kooky Hollywood nuttiness. Neve went off the reservation long ago and since she never ended up selling blow jobs and weed to old fans I sort of lost touch with what she was up to. Courtney Cox strutted off the set of Friends like the cat that killed the canary and now she's stuck doing lame television like Cougar Town where she plays an old horny mother. Arquette can't even get arrested, I mean I wouldn't be surprised if he was working at a Hollywood Starbucks to make rent.

So with a talent pool like that who can say just how far the Scream movies could go.

I hate everything

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