Tuesday, July 28, 2009


So that's the new teaser poster for the remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. It stars Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger. If that name sounds familiar it's because he played Rorschach in the ill-fated Watchman movie. Now I dug his performance as Rorschach but this Freddy casting got me thinking we should combine the two into one film called WATCHMANIACS. Using the original Watchman trailer here's my break down:

Close up on a door in an insane asylum. Inside the killer from My Bloody Valentine is watching TV. He turns to see a shadow under his door. Suddenly a boot kicks in the door and the MBV killer stands up and starts breathing heavy. Subtitles say "Just a matter of time I suppose."

The person who kicked in the door, cloaked in darkness grabs MBV killer and throws him across the room. Quick shot of the MBV killer's gas mask as a drop of blood hits it. Then maskless the MBV killer is thrown through a window. THE WB LOGO APPEARS

Freddy Kruger walking through the streets clicking his knives. He bends down and picks up the MBV gas mask and says "WATCHMANIACS". Holding the gas mask Kruger says "One of us died tonight"

Quick shot of a photo being taken with Michael Myers, a female Zombie, Pinhead, Hannibal Lecter, Jason Vorhees, MBV killer and Freddy Krueger.

Back to Kruger jumping up to the smashed window. Quick shot of him entering the apartment saying "Somebody knows why" then looking at a wall of MBV's various gas masks and killing tools. Kruger says again "Somebody knows".

Cut to a shot of Lecter talking to Kruger saying "MBV had lost the taste." Cut to a shot of MBV raising a machete and then putting it down. Cut to a hole in the ground where MBV's body is tossed in while the Lecter VO says "Maybe somebody got tired of that."

Shot of Krueger walking away from Lecter saying "Maybe somebody is picking off masked killers". Quick shot of Jason Vorhees throwing the gas mask into the grave. Quick shot of Pinhead walking through hell.

Cut to the female zombie at a restaurant saying "Pinhead thinks hell has risen". Quick shot of a city with a dark cloud following it. Quick shot of Female Zombie, Jason Vorhees and Freedy Krueger walking down some steps. A Kruger VO saying "What if that's why somebody wants us out of the way."

Quick shot of police fighting demons. Kruger VO continues "So we can't join in all the fun." Cut to shot of Lecter jumping on a female nurse and biting into her cheek. Quick shot of a crowd, then Krueger leaping into a bunch of bikini clad teens in the rain, then Jason Vorhees getting set on fire, then Michael Myers standing in front of a house with a huge butcher knife. A Krueger VO says "An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us."

Slow shot of the female zombie walking down steps being sexy. A Lecter VO says "Watchmaniacs are over, what do you suggest we do about it?" Quick shot of Krueger standing on a tower laughing and saying "Retribution".

Shot of Lecter standing next to MBV Killer saying "We can end this world". Cut to a man being pulled apart but hooks and Pinhead standing behind him. Then Pinhead stretching his arms out as people run.

a title card says "THEY HAUNT OUR NIGHTMARES". Cut to the Female Zombie grabbing a victim and biting into his neck, blood spurts everywhere. Krueger jumps through a mirror at a girl, close up of his face smiling. Another title card "BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING CAME FOR THEM?"

Pinhead standing in front of the Female Zombie at his palace in Hell. He says to the Female Zombie "Why would I help end a world I no longer have any stake in?". The Female Zombie says "Do it for me" as part of her jaw falls off.

Shot of MBV killer jumping into a crowd slicing and dicing. Quick shot of hell with people moving through it, a shot of a cop firing a gun, Krueger jumping through a window into another dimension, Jason Vorhees landing in front of scared kids, Pinhead ripping through another body, Krueger slices a kid, Jason picks up a cop and snaps him in half, the Female Zombie tries to run from fire, the Female Zombie and Jason without his mask start to kiss, Pinhead being surrounded by demons screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE", Vorhees falls to his knees.

Another crowd shot, hell erupting out of the ground as Jason and Female Zombie kiss, another Krueger VO "The world will look up and scream kill us!!" Quick shot of demons attacking a crowd, then Krueger kicking in a door. Krueger VO "And I'll whisper..NO" close up on Krueger's smiling face. Title card that says WATCHMANIACS.

Well that's my idea

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