Friday, August 20, 2010


I've been away for awhile mainly due to me new job, which is cool but doesn't allow me much time to write or do anything fun. Damn that being a grown up bullshit. Anyhoo over the past week so much has gone down and a good deal of it I don't give a flying fuck about at all. Being that I like to tell people about things I don't care about here are the Top 5 News Items I Don't Care About.

5. Matthew Lillard Might Be In Scream 4

Not only do I not care about Matthew Lillard but I don't give a shit about this movie. Scream was the beginning of the end for good horror movies and the two sequels sucked so bad it was hard to believe they weren't making it up as they went along. One of my least favorite parts of Scream was Lillard and one of my most favorite things was watching his fucking career implode. I hated his date rapist smile, his laugh, anything about him made me sick.

Scream 4 has been beset by so many problems I'm sure Bob and Harvey Weinstein are trying to drum up whatever rumors and bullshit they can to keep interest alive. Think about it, Neve Campbell (who I still want to fuck for some reason) hasn't done shit for years and even SHE doesn't want to come back for the 4th movie. I hope Matthew Lillard isn't in Scream 4 because the whole fucking thing gets shut down.

4. JUMPER Might Get A Sequel

Oh well thank God because if ever a movie deserved a sequel it was this worthless sci-fi shitpile. The movie jumped out of theaters faster than the hero in the movie (played by Hayden Christiensen--the guy who ruined Darth Vader) and the one silver lining was that there would be no sequel. NOPE, the slime cunts over at Fox are clamoring for a franchise since Percy Jackson and The A-Team tanked hard over the summer. I guess a franchise is so important that sequels to miserable failures are being considered. Good time for people to start talking about Jaws 5.

3. Early Buzz Says David Fincher's "The Social Network" Is Really Good

Okay first of all David Fincher hasn't done anything that hasn't sucked ass since Fight Club (Zodiac was boring and Benjamin Buttons was furiously awful) so hearing his movie about the rise of Facebook starring The Other Michael Cera does nothing to motivate me to see this movie. A movie about Facebook? Fuck yourself.

2. Twilight Eclipse Director To Direct Wolverine Sequel

Well of course. I mean heebee geebee and pork my sister who else to helm a violent action movie based on the classic Frank Miller series than a guy who fucked around with sexy vampires and buff werewolves. Why not have the director of The Switch helm the next Batman movie. Who cares? Hollycunt sure doesn't.

1. DC Animated Release Their Shorts On Disc

Let me see if I have this right, just so I'm clear. DC Animated has taken three of the shorts already available on their earlier animated releases, combined it with one twelve minute short titled The Return Of Black Adam featuring Shazam and Superman and will sell it for $30 (more for bluray). Um....okay, does anybody see that as an incredible amount of bullshit? Who is going to pay $30 for four shorts and what about those who bought the movies? They get a 12 minute short f0 $30? Oh, oh wait I see, there's 2.5 hours of extras. That's like head that ends before you cum. Smooth move DC Animated, no wonder you fuckers are failing.