Friday, August 13, 2010

SUCK MY ASS IT SMELLS: THIS FUCKING KID



I've never been one to champion crib death nor have I been big on beating children to a bloody, broken, mess but this kid might just change all that. I don't know what laboratory decided to splice the genes for precocious with douche but man did they make a fucking hybrid child-thing that sucks all kinds of fucking ass. I hate this kid, I hate him worse than Armond White and that's saying something. Watch this video of him reviewing movies and tell me I'm wrong.



That three minute segment took me half an hour to get through because I kept having to stop long enough to throw rocks at little kids riding by on bicycles. Where did they dig up this fucking cunt. Seriously? Inception we should wait for until DVD because it's "confusing" but let's all run out to see Ramona And Beezus or Beeble or whatever the fuck it is and Salt because it's fantastic.

Fuck this kid, fuck him and please somebody chop his goddamn hands off so he stops talking with them. When I was that age I liked shitty movies but mainly the ones on Cinemax late at night that I was jerking off to. Perhaps I'm wrong, maybe he's not real, maybe this kid is a lost robot from the Jim Henson camp, yeah that could be it.

They built a cutey pie kid with kooky teeth but he got struck by lightening and came to life. However instead of being annoyingly cute like Johnny 5 this kidbot decided to go down a douchier road. Doesn't this kid have parents or did they abandon him like anybody else would once he learned to talk. Good luck getting laid kid. Even a crack whore on a two day withdrawal bend and no feet would rather wallow in her life than come near you.

Seriously kid, suck my ass it smells.

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