SUCK MY ASS IT SMELLS: THIS SITUATION SUCKS!!!

Everybody has been forced to become familiar with The date rapist douche bag living cartoon Situation, one of the cast members of vile sewer abortions mate and drink The Jersey Shore. For those unaware (and how I envy you) The Jersey Shore is another of MTV's attempts to reduce humanity to blathering idiots via a reality show about Guidos and Guidettes showing off their muscles and acting like the mentality handicapped moose shits they are.

Apparently The Situation, a nickname for Mikey Bagga Donuts or whatever this cunts name is, will earn 5 million dollars this year because...well....um.....nobody is really sure. Yep this guy has awesome abs, he just can't spell that word. He has great hair but if you asked him about the Tortoise And The Hare he'd start freaking out thinking there was a turtle on his head. This guy is like the male Paris Hilton, a complete waste of sperm and egg that has tapped into the stupidity of America and the ability for the Corporation Shitbags to capitalize on it.

This dink earning a lump of cash for the second season of the show seems reasonable in the fucked up world we live in as does his new workout video given that The Situation can't seem to keep his shirt on. I figure it's like any other kind of evil. When we all get too close to realizing what a living cunt bag of ignorance and stupidity he is the shirt comes up to blind the people of that reality.

Where I start to come unglued is the fact that this guy is getting acting roles in movies. Um, has anybody seen the show? The Situation can't hold a conversation or speak in straight sentences for more than maybe eight seconds. What's he going to do in a movie besides take his shirt off? My personal favorite is his autobiography titled....get this...."Here's The Situation". HOLY SHIT is that clever. He must've pulled the one muscle he doesn't use to come up with that fucking awesome play on words. First of all just because this moron became famous doesn't make his life interesting. I can just imagine how it'll read:

"So like y'know me and Tony B. were like lookin' for hooes and shit and like I was amped cause it was fuckin summer and shit and like I had my shirt off and my muscles were ripped like Rambo and shit. So I was drunk and shit and fuckin Tony B saw this fuckin bitch slut we used ta know so we like got the hooer drunk and then fucked her. At one point Tony B had her from behind and shit and I walked up and slapped his ass. That bitch was none the wiser"

Well I'm probably being generous but it seems close enough. I also love the idea of a guy who can't read writing a book. Do you get a six figure salary for submitting something in crayon? Is this a choose your own adventure book where you decide if The Situation works his abs or his triceps? This is the world we live in folks, this is the world we've created for ourselves. I can't wait for the rising of the Old Ones or 2012.

Oh and Situation I'm not a hater I am THE HATER.

So from the bottom of my chubby, black, hate filled heart

SUCK MY ASS IT SMELLS