Wednesday, August 11, 2010

FINALLY!!! A True Ohio Standard Gets A Movie

When I moved down to Ohio I was told that several things would happen. First I'd get a really close up idea of what Road Kill Performance Art really looked like. Second I'd learn that when driving a turn signal is a sign of weakness. Third I was told I'd fall in love with Skyline chili. I didn't fall in love with Skyline Chili because it tastes like meat gravel but I quickly learned not to share that opinion with anybody.

Now it seems that Hollywood has caught up to the chili craze in the midwest and are making a movie all about this beloved Ohio staple. I'm not sure exactly how a whole movie on chili is gonna work out unless they throw in some Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Soylent Green ideology in there. Let's view the trailer:

Wait just a GODDAMN minute, that's not about chili, that's about aliens. Well fuck it all to hell doesn't that suck for Ohio!! Unless, well, maybe it's about aliens who bought Skyline Chili and got so fucking ripping pissed they decided to attack. Those might be giant blue shit bombs released on the world.

Could this be the bump Ohio needs?


  1. A few questions:

    Did you drive all the way from Boston to Ohio in a U-Haul?

    Why the hell name your movie "Skyline"? That's a shitty title if you ask me.

    Is that really Dan Rather in a movie? How did they get him?

    By the way, Soylent Green is great movie. I'm sure that would be a great additional ingredient for that place to put out good food.