Monday, November 9, 2009


As snicker-worthy as it could be Quincy was also the first show ever to talk on prime time TV about drugs, sexually transmitted diseases, the evil of corporate America, fad diets, child abuse, child molestation, spousal abuse, and other topics that were pretty heavy stuff for the time period.

Having recently watched all 8 seasons again I managed to go through and pick out what I feel are the Top Ten Best Quincy Episodes Ever! Read this and you’ll get an idea of why Quincy kicks so much ass and why you should know about it if you don’t.

10. Thigh Bone Connected To The Knee Bone. (Season 2)

Synopsis: Quincy is told to teach a class at the local university for the brightest minds in forensic science the school has. As a joke a student brings him what she thought was an animal thighbone found at a construction site. Turns out to be a human thighbone and Quincy uses the class to rebuild the body and solve a murder.

Why It Rocks: First off the brightest mind in forensic science didn’t know it was a human thighbone? This was also the first episode where the producers tried to hip Quincy to the college scene. For some reason it was mandatory that Quincy be down with the youth and here these college kids worship him. It also introduced a woman who played Quincy’s girlfriend for just one season. After that the producers had him getting more ass than a toilet seat

09. Touch Of Death (Season 3)

Synopsis: Sam quits unexpectedly when Quincy performs an autopsy on a Japanese martial arts movie star, because the practice goes against the family's beliefs.

Why It Rocks: This was the first show to really focus on Sam, Quincy’s right hand man and pretty much the guy who does all the work while Quincy shouts and screams at injustice. Sam is Japanese so of course he has a relative that’s a martial arts master in Hollywood. I was also fascinated at how the producers jumbled several different Asian religious ideas into one to give the show drama. This was also the first in a trend of Sam-focused episodes that had awful acting. The very best is that at the end the bad guy starts crying and then suddenly jumps out of a window.

08. No Way To Treat A Flower. (Season 5)

Synopsis: Quincy discovers that a drug magazine is hawking a plant spray for weed that is actually poisoning kids and killing them.

Why It Rocks: Because it makes weed out to be as bad as heroin. The producers obviously couldn’t figure out a way that smoking weed would kill somebody so they dreamed up this “poisoned plant spray” angle that makes no sense. I also loved the clearly out of touch producers writing college kids and the magazine owner speaking “drug slang”. Get high before watching this episode it’s the best!

07. Never A Child (Season 5)

Synopsis: A teenage girl named Sophie ends up on Quincy’s table and he wants to know why. Upon trying to solve her murder he discovers the underground world of child porn and joins forces with a social worker to fight a guy named Uncle Harry (who killed Sophie) before he destroys the life of a runaway named Amanda.

Why It Rocks: This was one of those episodes that tackled a taboo subject for the time in a very human way. I don’t know if they did more research or if the producers thought it too important to make a typical episode but this one is really fucked up. The only humor is the hot 22-year-old social worker that starts hitting on Quincy, it never reads as believable.

06. Riot (Season 5)

Synopsis: Sam and Quincy head to a prison where a politically radical black prisoner has been beaten to death. The inmate held responsible says he’s innocent and points to a corrupt warden. The inmates riot and take Sam & Quincy hostage. They let Quincy go to try and prove the inmate is innocent but Sam is forced to stay in the prison.

Why It Rocks: Mainly because I couldn’t believe a show that champions justice and equality would write African American dialog the way the writers did here. It’s not so much that this episode rocks but how shocking it is what America used to be okay withr. Serious stuff like “I don’t knows nuthin about yaw outside justice ya see.” It was that kind of white-guy-writes-street-tough bullshit. So offensive

05. Who Speaks For The Children (Season 6)

Synopsis: Quincy draws the case of nine-year-old Polly Carmody, murdered and tossed in a garbage bin. The police soon round up a suspect, but the chief investigator, Lieutenant Markasian, doesn't believe they have the right man. When Quincy can't match the blood type, and when he and Quincy discover some disturbing facts about the girl's stepfather, they turn their investigation towards him.

Why It Rocks: Another well-done episode that actually makes you think and is wicked disturbing. The guy who plays the stepfather is so creepy that even as cynical as I am he gave me the heeby jeebies. It’s also one of Quincy’s best angry speeches ever.

04. Images (Season 4)

Synopsis: Quincy announces at a press conference that a woman who died in a fire is Jessica Ross, a well-known anchor babe. Then Jessica Ross walks into the room and announces that she's alive. Quincy believes that this woman is an impostor and that his original diagnosis was the correct one.

Why It Rocks: Mainly because this was one of the few high concept ideas Quincy ever produced. Most of the shows Quincy did an autopsy, got mad, faced a bureaucrat and won. Here there is some real mystery going on and it was kind of tense. I also loved the reason the wicked twin did what she did, so fucked up.

03. Dying For A Drink (Season 8)

Synopsis: Quincy tries to help out a fellow female medical examiner when she begins to screw up her job and make mistakes due to a drinking problem.

Why It Rocks: Mainly because it is so fucked up and ends on a serious downer. Most Quincy shows ended with an up beat vibe but in season 8 they wanted to reinvent the shows so they became grittier. The woman with the drinking problem here is just put through the ringer by everybody and even Quincy can’t help. A solid look at alcoholism and a really dark episode for the series as a whole.

02. Unhappy Hour (Season 5)

Synopsis: Quincy’s boss Dr. Astin takes over as coroner only to have the 17-year-old boyfriend of his niece end up on the table as the victim of a drunk driving accident. The niece is being charged with manslaughter for driving the car they were both in and it’s up to Astin and Quincy to find out what really happened.

Why It Rocks: There are so many reasons that this episode kicks ass. First it's another of the dark and grittier episodes that didn't really end on an upbeat swing. There’s some humor such as the “advanced computer technology” that recreates the car accident but what happens to the niece is really kind of awful. I also dug an entire episode devoted to Astin because he was one of my favorite things about the show.

I appreciated the end scene where Astin stops giving a lecture to his niece’s class about the evils of drunk driving and comes down into the audience to “rap” with them. It was corny and obviously written by old men trying to relate to kids but A for effort.

01. Next Stop Nowhere (Season 8)

Synopsis: Quincy believes and autopsy he just complete on a young man who died after a night of slam dancing at a punk rock club was directly attributed to the music the kids were listening to at the time. Lyrics about no hope, violence and death led to the man being stabbed in the back with an ice pick.

Why It Rocks: Easily my favorite Quincy episode mainly because of how ridiculous it is. In this episode Quincy fights punk rockers that are like no punks I’ve ever met, EVER!! The dialog, the look, the “slam” dancing is all so manufactured and so badly executed you can’t believe it’s actually happening. It was so clear that the people behind this had kids into punk rock and hated it so they wrote this episode to expose something they didn’t even understand. Watch the 30-second promo to see what I mean:

If that doesn’t impress you here’s the actual song that drove the kids to kill from the nameless punk rock band who looks less like a punk band than a glam metal one:

So that’s it, the Top Ten Best Quincy Episodes Ever. Now that you know the best, try the rest by renting Quincy. Trust me, you’ll be so amped you did.

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