Thursday, November 5, 2009


I fucking hate all the goddamn sonofabitch Alien sequels!!

See the first Alien to me was not only a brilliant movie but kind of a right of passage. It was one of the first movies I snuck to watch on HBO when it came out and it scared the shit out me. I became obsessed with the Alien itself and even managed to get my parents to buy me one of the big alien toys for Christmas. When Aliens came out I enjoyed it but thought it lacked the weight and presence of the original (No I'm not joining some hipster band wagon, I did love Aliens so relax).

Post Aliens every single fucking movie having to do with the Aliens sucked greater and greater amounts of ass. Culminating with the most recent Alien Vs Predator movie which I walked out of (that's saying a lot since I was at home watching it on DVD). As I stood freezing outside my apartment I swore an oath to the Nerd Gods that I'd never see another Alien sequel.

Until now that is.

The fine folks over in Japan have come up with an angle hitting on so many touchstones of my childhood that I couldn't resist seeing it if I wanted to. As you can tell from the above poster it's titled Alien Vs Ninja

I will repeat that


Here's the synopsis as provided by TWITCH:

Once upon a time in Japan, there was a band of great Ninja warriors led by Yamata called Iga Ninja. One day they witness a flash in the sky and a roaring giant ball of fire crashes into the distant forest. The warriors rush into the deep woods in an attempt to identify the mysterious fireball. There, instead of finding predictable enemies, they are stunned to face never-seen-before creatures with claws and fangs, the aliens! The hungry brutal aliens start to savage and feast on the Ninja warriors, leaving only a few to survive. Yamata and his warriors swear to avenge their comrades' deaths and risk their lives to challenge the aliens. However, none of the Ninja weapons, neither their swords nor their throwing stars, has any affect on the alien warriors. Now the Japanese greatest Iga Ninja face the biggest challenge ever!


Aliens and Ninjas? If this took place in the realm of Dungeons And Dragons I'd be too busy jerking off to finish this post. I hope this movie kicks ass.

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