Tuesday, June 23, 2009


So next summer M. Night Shamalamadingdong is going to try and bring one of the best animated series ever to the big screen live action style. Above is a photo of Ang the hero from the series, you can compare him with the kid in the trailer. Truth be told the trailer looks pretty good but there's not enough of the actual film to really get any idea on it.

My fear stems from my long loathing of M.Night Shamalamadingdong. In my opinion he's almost the Quentin Tarantino it's OK to like. It's the same style-over-substance directing and writing style, the same incredible ego and the same so-so results. Let's break down M.Night Shamalamadingdong's career

SIXTH SENSE: This movie had more holes in it than Swiss Cheese, holes you could drive giant trucks through. First off if you couldn't call that Bruce Willis was dead from the stumbled way the film was blocked then you need to pay more attention. Secondly, the kid is terrified of all dead people except Willis? He never tells Willis he's dead? Willis never even glimpses the idea he's dead and the "The dead only see what they want" line is supposed to cover it. HORSESHIT!!!

UNBREAKABLE: A film I refer to as Unbearable. Not only is it too long and so incredibly boring I actually started weeping for death but it also managed to make me hate a movie based around COMIC BOOKS!! I'm supposed to believe that a guy who has a disease where he can't walk down stars with breaking his bones can orchestrate mudslides in Mexico and train crashes? Again, HORSESHIT!!

SIGNS: Hoo haaa was this steaming pile of corn-filled shits a real pleasure to see end. This one really pissed me off because it was such an interesting idea. Treating an alien invasion more as a terrorist attack through the eyes of one family was really cool. Shamalamadingdong even managed to get some real scares in there. Then he completely shits all over it with the ending. The Aliens can be killed by WATER? WATER!! FUCKING WATER!? This race of beings who can travel throughout the galaxy and land without being detected couldn't figure out that 80% of the planet they were going to invade was deadly to them? Overlords until rainfall? JESUS FUCK!!

THE VILLAGE: People in the modern world buy a plot of land and convince their kids that they are living in the olden times. They stop the kids from traveling outside the forest by dressing up as wolf creatures then they send the blind girl into the new world for medicine. When a cop patrolling the area finds her he just gives her the medicine and doesn't say anything else. We get some crap sum up at the end trying desperately to explain away the gnawing details based in LOGIC that reduce the story to nothing. Um, right, fuck YOU dood!!

THE LADY IN THE WATER: Another absolute and total shitbomb from M. Night. A girl lives in the pool sent to inspire a man whose writing could save the world and M.Night decides he should play the writer? WHAT BALLS!! The ego on this guy is almost palpable, I bet if you stand next to him you can taste it the way you can taste the overdose of perfumes in a department store. This movie made no sense and fell apart halfway through thanks to yet another script filled with holes.

THE HAPPENING: Is the Showgirls of sci-fi movies. Plants get mad and decide to poison us or something. Wow, what a stupid idea for a movie. The best was that the acting was so atrocious, so absolutely awful people began to think this was a joke film or performance art. This is absolutely his worst movie ever.

So that's a break down of Shamalamadingdong's career and here's the Air Bender trailer to boot.

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