Thursday, January 7, 2010
THE FIRST WHO GIVES A SHIT MOMENT OF 2010: SOUNDGARDEN REUNION
First how do you guys like the new 2010 graphic for I Hate Everything?
So apparently the boys in Soundgarden have decided that after all the shit they talked, and all the "never happens" they tossed around like their gorgeous locks of hair, it's time for a reunion. Well great, fucking hoo haa sonofabitch dick licking poo poo yay!! The most overrated fucking band to come out of the whole "grunge" movement save for Smashing Pumpkins has gone back on their word and decided to give us the masses something we don't need and many don't give a fuck about. Does anybody else here smell bullshit? Is anybody else laughing to themselves that these egotistical pricks have come crawling back to the music they didn't want to play anymore? I was around when they broke up and it was like a bunch of crybaby bitches throwing their rattles down and stomping off. At one point the bass player literally walked off stage during a performance and left. Yeah, that's professional, that's something you do to your fans who worked hard to see you play your crappy songs.
"Black Sabbath without the boring parts."
That's how Soundgarden guitarist Kim Thayil once described the band, a statement I still owe him a kick in the nuts for. I find this whole thing such an obvious ploy for money and attention that I'll bet even reunion-for-bucks kingpin Perry Farrel is scratching his head and saying "Wow dudes, bad form." Let's be totally honest, really super honest with no bullshit and just say the truth which is Soundgarden had two decent albums: UltramegaOK and Louder Than Love. Everything after that was just a screeching shit show.
Outshined? Are you serious? With lyrics like "Looking California but feeling Minnesota" that record is only a stones throw from a goddamn comedy album. Then we got hit with ultra crap like Spoon Man and Black Hole Sun and just mediocre song after mediocre song. I will give them the credit they deserve for Fell On Black Days but that's about it. Truth be told if Chris Cornell didn't make girls' panties wet that band wouldn't have Outshined a one armed hillbilly slapping a toilet brush against a wash basin.
The other thing that galls me, besides Soundgarden sucking, is that this is just a "We're all failures so let's do this again" move. Cornell first tried to redirect his career with a solo record nobody cared about. Then he put together Audioslave which was just about as boring as a band can get, so boring they had to do their videos with no shirts on hoping to cash in on that wet-panties dollar. After three albums everyone ignored they broke up and Cornell did another batch of solo records that again nobody bought or cared about. The desperate dick even tried to get Timbaland to produce his album and STILL nobody gave a shit.
Meanwhile the rest of the band has bounced back and forth from project to project but not to anything that really stood out. I guess they were waiting for enough pinpricks to appear in Cornell's ego to result in him crawling back to Soundgarden. Now they're back and really who cares? People nostalgic about the nineties? People who never saw them live and think it'll be amazing (I saw them, it wasn't)? Whoever is on board with this reunion deserves all the money they'll lose funding this incredibly transparent and fake cluster fuck of average talent.
I hate everything